Carnaggio // Fabel 04. Hello Darkness || my old friend

wah

2007-02-13T20:08:00.000+09:00

...

ang hirap noh?

mniwala sa totoo.

un naman ung dapat.

nloloko ko lng srili ko n2.

hirap nmn mgicp ng title eh

2007-02-13T00:01:00.000+09:00

kung pwede lang na ung pagpili kasingdali lang ng paghanap ng taya sa Langitlupa... o kaya ng pagkapanalo sa jak-en-poy.

kung pwede lang na ung pagpili walang mga isasakripisyong mga bagay.

kung pwede lang na ung pagpili walang maaapektuhan.

kaya nga lang, di naman pwedeng ganun.

^^

+++

Nagustuhan ata ni Rot ung detnot[deathnote]...

bagong kampon ni L ito..haha.....

w00t...go L..xD adek.... talino-ness...

+++

Sometimes I wanted to come right up at you and tell you

"I don't want to feel blank."

But I don't have the guts to do so.

When I start spacing out, my little world closes in

on me

and i start drowning myself

again.

But then, I guess it must be selfish, so I didn't

dare ask you for something.

Just simply being there and ready to

listen

would be more than enough

to keep me sane.

Thanks.

wah.

2007-02-11T19:18:00.000+09:00

I knew it.

She would only be depressed.

Maybe tomorrow he would feel the same.

Frustrated with the worthless being who I am--or will be.

No one heard her words but I. And tomorrow, I should try hard...

preparing myself to receive the same kinds of words from him...

if i could say something tomorrow.

+++

Can life not end right after highschool?

So it won't be that hard to accept

how much of a failure I turned out for

them.

I hope someone stops me from giving up, please.

I must admit. This time...

I'm already crumbling into pieces.

+++

I am too selfish.

I'm in the middle of two choices that both required

a heavy sacrifice.

I wanted to be selfless...but something in me wants to

save something for myself.

Am I....being selfish?

No matter how I look at it...

it's too clear..

that the answer

is YES.

troubled

2007-02-10T17:34:00.000+09:00

I crumbled at my weakest point.

I'm about to reach the limit of my sanity.

My questions cry out,..

...but the world is silent.

I smile in front of people, but I don't know how not to.

I cry but I don't even know how to stop.

I don't want to be a burden to other people with my problems.

But somehow I'm still longing for someone to share my burden with me.

I don't want to depress my parents anymore.

But somehow I always end up being such a failure, like I don't even deserve to be their child.

I feel so weak and helpless, but I know I shouldn't be.

I feel like I don't deserve such love. Such friendship. Such kindness. From him. From my friends. Even from the Lord.

Because I'm such a failure.

I feel like I don't even deserve to be important.

And I'm always making things look worse. Always. Though I know I shouldn't be doing so. And I hate myself because of it.

But no matter how I feel, running away isn't even one of my choices. Do I even have one?

I feel like I'm drowning myself in my own world of nonsense. And though I long to get out of it, it still seems like I'm also the one who's pulling me back in.

+++

Starting tomorrow...every single laugh would matter so much, and at the same time..

..would probably be crushing me into pieces.

Every fun moment would be important and held special.

But it might just be as damaging.

Because we're not the ones counting the days.

The days are the ones counting themselves out.

I need not take my mask off tomorrow. And everything would seem normal.

I hope.

+++

....ang senti.

....

ang Emo.

nakakahiya. x|

...[2]

2007-02-07T22:41:00.000+09:00

I still don't get it.

What lies in your inner self, anyway?

"I can't stand being this close.

It's painful to be this close.

Why did I wish for this?

If this is the result of this wish,...

I don't want anything more to do with it.

Or to feel this anymore.

I don't want this. I don't want to acknowledge it.

This is simply...

too much."

That was how you really felt, wasn't it?

.....wasn't it...?

You really hated me after all...didn't you?

It's just a keen and outstanding show---an almost perfect charade.

Doesn't anyone even wonder why it seems like everything went neutral...?

You might have successfully made it look like you're okay, but I'm not buying your idea.

We are both rotting at a different rate.

+++

uh.....may sasabihin pa dapat ako eh...kaya lang di ko maalala. inaantok na ren ako. next time ko na lang ipopost. Pag naalala ko na.

+++

Nanganganib na nga pala ung blog ko. Kelangan nang magtago.

XD

...

2007-02-07T19:49:00.000+09:00

....waah. Sorry.. :c

I did not say those words to make you feel bad or anything.

Really, no hard feelings.

+++

My brother's being a bitch today.

Gaahhh~~ xc

Even more feminine than I am...

Or maybe it's just my feminism taking over viewing his rigid "childish-ness".

+++

Wah.

time is SILVER

2007-02-05T19:51:00.000+09:00

...

Don't wait for the last minute.

Don't waste time.

Make the most out of it.

Anyway -this- "might" only last for just a little longer...

we never know.

^^

awts >_<

2007-02-03T20:31:00.000+09:00

I want to gouge my eyes out of its sockets.

Gaahhhh~~

My eyes EFF~in hurt.

X_____X

I feel like I've been staring at the monitor for a couple of decades already.

X[

....but I think it's worth it....after all. ^^

title

2007-02-02T20:00:00.000+09:00

"...ba't umuwi ka pa?"

Bakit nga ba...

+++

Should I always be the one to break the silence...?

I encourage you to say something.

+++

Puro two-liner ngaun ah.

...gaya nito.

+++

You're impractically unreasonable.

These thoughts will remain STRONG.

+++

Time could just fade away cruelly like blown-away dust.

For some reason I wish I could do the same.

+++

How long would it take for you to grow up?

huh? [walang maisip para sa second line.]

+++

I need...

so much more sleep.

+++

Kaya....

out na ko.

asdfghjklwatev

2007-01-30T20:20:00.000+09:00

Antok na naman ako.

Nakakaawa.

Pero di ako natulog.

[I prioritize Death Note more than my health.]

XD

dyowk.

Hay.

1 hour and 30 minutes na ung natapos ko, pero ung storya, wala pa sa kalahati.

Pero maganda na. XDXDXD kaso dumating si bantay. Aun, tinigil ko tuloy.

+++

Nakakapagod na matulog.

Nakakatamad.

Haha.

+++

naghahanap na ko ng bagong layout, at naghahakot na rin ako ng gagawin sa friday, saturday, sunday na mga book cover ng prose collection.

XD para may gagawin ako sa weekend, kahit madaming pupuntahan. waaah..

sana nga roadtrip ulet ni kuya eh.... dami namin pinag-uusapan...

sobrang laftrip...

kaso mukhang busy na naman un. T_T

Hay. Ewan.

+++

Out na ko sa blogger. Gawa pa ko kowber eh. ^^

<3 hyde <3

2007-01-29T21:59:00.000+09:00

dumaan ako dito, unang-una sa lahat...

dahil ika'y narito, dahil ako'y narito, dahil ika'y narito.

In english.... because you're here, because I'm here, because you're here...
[blehkkk~ ang korni.]

dahil gusto kong bumati.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYDE!!!!!!!!!

~from a die-hard fangirl of yours.

waha.......XD

+++

Hay naku....sinampal mo na naman ako. Mas mahina pa nga ung una eh.

Iwanan ba naman ako sa "gitna" ng usapan.

Di ko alam kung ano ggwin ko sau.

Ay~~ alam mo ba, alam mo ba? Hindi lahat ng tanong pag sinagot mo ng 'wala lang' nakakatuwa pakinggan.

+++

Hauu~~

Pumasok ako ngaung araw para magawa na ung activity sa English.

Yan tuloy. Pag-uwi ko sa bahay kulang na lang mamatay ako sa saket ng ulo. shakkks. exaj lang ng onte. Haha.

Di ko alam kung baket. 2 linggo na kong ganito, maputlang-maputla, nahihilo, mukang bangag, gaahhH~ nosebleed rin minsan...nakakaawa. tsktsk. Di lang halata.

Lagi rin ako inaantok, kahit sobra pa sa 8 hours ung tulog ko.

Muka na ko niluwa ng pating eh.

wawa naman ako. XD

+++

haha....mowbeh.

2007-01-28T19:26:00.000+09:00

I'm living in a world full of lies.

And sometimes amidst the reality where I stand,

I am not able to wake up from the false slumber

that separates me from untainted actual existence

of my whole being.

Send me there, please.

+++

HUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~~

Masaya ako ngayon. DAHEL~

Bumili ako ng.............

dalawang bagay na...

nakapagpapasaya saken.

Baka di ako makatulog kakaisip nito...

Medyo...un ung nakabuo sa araw ko..

Nalagas nga lang ung pera ko. Hehe.

Gurlaloo mode pa naman ako kanina....tsktsk. Un lang ung panget na part ng araw na 'to.

+++

Lapit na Jzone Anniversary! ^_^

+++

teka...may nakakabanas nga pala akong nalaman............na informeysyon. Ang saklap eh......di naman ako parang sinampal nun di ba.

I-coconfirm ko pa lang naman, at sana di totoo.

Waha.

+++

Hay. Halu-halo special. Adek.

tamad mag-isip ng title

2007-01-26T21:06:00.000+09:00

Seriously.

All the emotions these past few days faded away in a snap.

It took that lone moment for me to see

that what I've always feared of happening

is already taking place.

I've always felt like this time would come..

but it was a bit surprising that it came too soon,

and I couldn't really tell

if it made me feel better

or worse.

....and I don't know why I stood on that pedestal alone...

when supposedly someone should be standing there beside me..

to complete that circle which USED TO BE just there.

But I acted alone, and it's worth the guilt....I think..

I feel really bad about being selfish enough to do that..

Sorry...^^"

+++

By the way...

I belong to the 1933 batch of "women".

Excuse me.

+++

Grabe.

Dumaan ako sa IV-A na walang ilaw ung buong corridor. [sa iv-c na lang may ilaw.]

Guess what I saw.

I stopped for 3 seconds, my heart stopped for 2.

Ung 3 seconds na un, siniguro ko munang hindi ako namamalikmata. Nagsisi ako na siniguro ko pa.

Tas aun, sumigaw ako...[aaah~~!] -_-" hay naku. parang babae, tsktsk. yak.

dyok.

Aun...kayo na bahala mag-isip kung ano nakita ko.

[bastoose.] XD dyok lang.

Basta...parang lumabas sa horror muvi... >_>

Ayoko na nga magkuento. Bahala kau jan.

uhm...

2007-01-25T18:49:00.000+09:00

dyowk lang...

ayoko pala magpost.

Pag-iisipan ko pa ung english eh.

[haha. dyowk lang..pero ggwin ko nga.]

SHIT YOU.

2007-01-23T22:49:00.000+09:00

The bitter ends of the blades of grass

cut through my skin beneath the dew of a morning glory

and peels off the pain, inviting with it

the hungry memories of a broken yesterday.

+++

Hay naku, may isang epal na tao sa skul kanina...na...ang sarap sagutin.

"Like wtehF iz her problem?!?"

.........tama siya, ikaw ang nagpapahiya sa sarili mo.

Your mentality is starting to be too funny to bring to actualization...isipin mo naman un. eww~~ XD

+++

I hope that my prayers for tonight would be stronger than the feelings I would be concealing for tomorrow. Because if it isn't, then I might just not be able to control my feelings anymore. I am pretty much overwhelmed by my sensitivity right now, that it's being such a bother. It was a good thing that I did not sleep well last night, because right now it's the only convincing reason for me to go to sleep early.

I hope my prayers tomorrow are even stronger than the one tonight, to help me control myself.

Cos' I'm so fuckin' sick and tired of this.

It's a damn never-ending crap of cycle.

And people are being nice.

But it doesn't look the same to you.

EVERYONE ELSE IS UNAPPRECIATED BY YOU. YOU ONLY SEE WHAT'S UNNECESSARILY WRONG IN US, AND YOU USE IT TO CREATE A BIGGER ISSUE, AND HURT YOURSELF, AND TURN THE BLAME ONTO THE PEOPLE WHO CARE FOR YOU THE MOST. YOU DON'T SEE THE REAL THINGS, BECAUSE WHAT ONLY MATTERED TO YOU WAS THAT WE DO WHAT YOU WANT.

NOW ISN'T THAT FUCKING ANNOYING???

+++

Pagkatapos mo ko pahirapan, siya naman isusunod mo?

I don't think I would let that happen.

+++

I never wanted to hate you. Don't bring me to that point.

And just so you know, you can't keep on doing this forever.

+++

I don't even think it really matters if you hate me now because of what I just said, you don't know what I'm going through, so if you want to hate me then do so, but don't act like you can see what's actually going on.

I don't either.

All I know is that you're doing something that affects a lot of people and offends those who do not -intentionally- want to offend you -back-.

Nuff' said.

kamisama

2007-01-20T09:35:00.000+09:00

LSS? ^^

Every tongue in heaven and earth
shall declare Your glory
Every knee shall bow at Your throne
IN WORSHIP.
YOU WILL BE EXALTED O GOD
AND YOUR KINGDOM SHALL NOT PASS AWAY.

While singing, your face comes into my mind...and I realized...

ako, pwede mong plastikin...

pero si God hinde.

Wala lang. Alam naman sigurado ni God kung pinaplastik mo siya o hinde.

Siya na bahala sau. God bless ^^

+++

Hay................

tapos ko na basahin ung Goth.

Wala akong reaction...parang wala akong naintindihan. xD

Ang gulo eh.

+++

Walang ibang tao sa bahay! wahahaha....... wala lang....enjoy na naman ako buong araw d2...xD

~ficpress? xD

2007-01-18T23:24:00.000+09:00

The reflection has been distorted

by an endless cycle

of shattered glass

from the center outwards

to its unfading promise

of ruin...that, of course

it will never be the same

mirror again.

+++

I lay down on the white grass

but the darkness seeped me in

until I could not contain

who I am anymore.

I dig out and reach for your hand

only to find out

that

it was the one

pulling me down.

Down...

falling..

falling cruelly...

into the vast space of

a never-ending nothingness

--my self-destruction.

+++

I could not see which of you
is the truth. Any longer.
Is it you?...or yourself?
I could not even tell.
Perhaps I would be able to
if only this poem
would end so well.

+++

May ginagaya lang akong blog....sinusubukan ko lang...xD kung ano pakiramdam na... ung mga pinagsusulat kong kaepalan eh...okei lang tingnan sa blog ko.

at kung ano pakiramdam na alam ng ibang tao ung mga sinusulat kong powms.

~xD

dahil makapal ang mukha ko at isa akong feeler. Plish read. xD

+++

Tomorrow i'll see you again
an almost perfect natural bliss
but one thing that i could not speak of
how much of "it" I miss
I daresay I won't ever tell you that
you'll only laugh at me.
And smile as if you've never felt
my whole sincerity.
I might have done you wrong so much
But for sure this isn't what I lack
i realized I have traded who i am
for certain tears i can't blink back

+++

parang pambata naman masyado ung mga ginagawa kong ebar. Pero ewan. La na siguro ako pakealam kung ano man sabihin ng ibang tao tungkol diyan. FLAMES are very well accepted. If you don't like it, please DO flame me. ^^

ty.

+++

Baket friday na bukas? ta3.

Pearman o spearson?

2007-01-17T20:42:00.000+09:00

Waah.

Binilhan ako ni Lila ng libro ni Karin Slaughter~~

xD

~~bloody yeyness!!!

wahahaha........................~

Tenkyuu lila...

Pero...di pa ako dapat magsaya.

May malaki akong kasalanan.

MYLENE....sorry na ha. Tsktsk....di ako patutulugin ng konsensiya ko nito...

MYLENE, sorry talaga ah....kasalanan naman kasi nung isa jan eh... [~XD]

ang saklap nung ginawa ko..

tsktsk.

wahahaha....

totoo ung sorry ko sau, mylene....^^ hehe..

+++

Gusto ko na basahin ung Goth at Eternal Sabbath.

Pero di na ako magkukuwento.

=p

Kala mo.

+++

Hmm....

Baklang research na yan.

Inaantok na ako pero wala pa rin kaming research...............nakatulog kasi ako kagabi.

~~anu ba kase nangyare dito sa bahay?~~

~~Galing ko pa rin magtago...XD~~

Kaya gagawa na ako. Ngaun.

Ng research........

+++

Madali ung NCAE. Pramis. Sabihin mong hinde.

[May corny na sasabat: "Hinde."]

xD

[ang ingay ni clarice...di ako makapag-isip ng susunod na ilalagay. Bahala siya.]

^_^"

2007-01-15T19:48:00.000+09:00

Tinatamad talaga ako magpost.

+++

Pero. may naisip ako.

+++

Kaso mahaba.

+++

Kaya wag na lang muna.

+++

tsktsk....XD lakas manghawa ah.

+++

XDXDXD

[blog=out.]

my last post for you

2007-01-14T20:32:00.000+09:00

[EMO] She was right. after all.

I only existed because of another's presence in your life.

It wouldn't really matter if I was gone or if I'm not around.

Because your world would still go on, as long as the other's with you.

I was never really a part of you, was I?

Because, just as you've told me before...

You hate me. [/EMO]

[ISA PANG EMO]
+++

Keeping another million things

about some secluded feelings

I find a thousand puppet strings

clipped onto my flightless wings.

And this was why I could never move on my own...

again.

+++
[/ISA PANG EMO]

[EMO ULIT]
And I thought you would be able to fill that void. But, no, it wasn't you after all.

I should be grateful that you taught me this much.

At the very least, I've learned from you how to assume that.

This is my last post concerning this.

Perhaps you're right in bidding it out all along.

[/EMO ULIT]
+++

hay naku...

ganado-ness ako ngaun magsulat ng isasubmit sa ficpress....pero la ako tym... XC..

kung kelan gusto ko...di pede. Tsktsk.

+++

Napakaganda nga pala ng ym picture ko. Si Tenten from the band KuRt. Mejo ano nga lang ung hand gesture nia....pero kyut pa rin cia, kahit mukang kirat sa pic..XD...

i suggest tamaan na ni Tenten ang dapat tamaan.

[SENTI]
Hindi naman siguro masamang mapuno minsan...

pero di bale...last post ko na 'to tungkol dito...

gaya lang nung sinabi kong last post ko na un tungkol kay Nelson.

[/SENTI]

+++

Haay...di na naman ganun kasaya ung post ko...tsktsk...oi Marv!! Miss na kita!!

...

2007-01-14T00:10:00.000+09:00

I hate this shit.

..mariology..

2007-01-13T17:02:00.000+09:00

Went to the mariology...para di na gagawa ng project.

Waah~~

I sat alone at the back...the whole program...umalis lang ako nung nagmass na..

grabe, mukha akong tanga dun nung nagsasayawan sila..kase kelangan may at least isang partner/katabi ka [kung pwede dapat ung kakilala mo]...eh..mejo nung time na un 3 lang kami sa row na un, ung 2 nsa kabilang dulo.

Aun...clap clap lang ako...tas nakatayo lang na parang tuod. Tsktsk...kawawa naman ako..XDXD ...natawa rin ako nung nakita ako ni Paolo G...kase pinagtawanan nia ko eh.. XD

hehe...anyway...di naman ako badtrip [at hindi un sarcastic..], nakakatuwa nga panoorin ung mga tao kase ang saya nila...tska..may iniisip ako nung time na un... ung buong time na nandun ako sa likod at nakaupo mag-isa...

dahil kita ko ung itsura nung program sa ganda ng pwesto ko...[ganun tlaga ako.. kahit nung 3rd year pa mas enjoy kong nakikita/pinapanood ung likod nung mga kaklase ko habang nagkaklase kami...] ...ang dami kong..naiisip.

...

I fell deeper in love with the Lord.

Sobra.

I realized how much these people need Him, and I wanted to be a witness to them that very moment I was watching them...I don't want to criticize other Christians... particularly Catholics...but..

the whole time, I was praying...

na...sana..

ano.

Un.

Gahh. Ayoko magsalita...basta...sobrang..uh..si Lord na bahala dun..^^

They should realize THAT THING that's most important...

Kaso nga lang...it doesn't really take seconds to convert a person into another being you'd like him to be... and being in my place, it's a very complex thought...

it's even harder to explain...

but if you love the Lord so much [and if you do know the complex TRUTH behind all this, since it's not just about her giving birth to the Savior and Him dying for you..it's about something way~ bigger], you'd understand how I felt right there and then...

+++

Okay, I might sound like this high and mighty preacher to you, but the deal's not really about being religious. I'm not like that. I said that SIMPLY because I love the Lord, and I'm not ashamed to talk about Him. Get it?

+++

Aun, tapos nabalik na nga pala ni Mon ung Furuba saken....hauu~ saya. XD

tapos...uh...seky, elsa, karylle, Tenkyuu~

Ara, tenkyuu din..

^^

+++

Ahh...I'm back to using UNIX...yeah~~ long live MS-DOS powers...XD

and web design, and forum posting, and getting myself promoted in that group.

I missed these stuff....

but..

for sure...

what I'm going to miss the most...

is the one thing I traded for all of these.

+++

wah~ paje. wala lang. nagpaparamdam lang ako.

~yeyness!!! XDXD

2007-01-10T20:06:00.000+09:00

PYRO sa friday!!

di ako excited.

+++

Masaya ako ngaun.

Bihira lang ako magpost ng ganito.

Pero masaya talaga ako.

Because I realized something way, WAY~ greater than that which I've realized yesterday.

Parang Keq > Q. Mas malaki ang Keq sa Q kaya FORWARD ang direction.

Forward..^^

O di ba... bihira lang ako makinig sa klase nang naaalala ko pa pagdating sa bahay... madalas pagkabell nabubura lahat ng pinakinggan ko. ~XD

Nakakatuwa~~ tlga...tenkyuu talaga sayo...kilala mo kung sino ka... dahil sa sinabi mo saken ngaung araw na 'to...lumiwanag ang mundo ko. NGAK. EMO?

Deh~~ sobrang...salamat dun...alam ko na ung gagawin ko...^^

hay...~yeyness.

Tapos aattend pa ng pyro sa friday...~ay..nasabi ko na pala un..

tas bukas..[SANA NGA BUKAS NA] ibibigay na ni PAJE ung mga cd~~

Excited na ako~

Kunware tapos ko na basahin lahat ng kopya ko ng bleach, at I"S... ba't ganun... pakiramdam ko porn ung I"s kaya tinigil ko nung una...kaso dami nagrerecommend sakin na basahin un...eh ta3...di pala porn un. *whew*

+++

Ang lakas ng loob ko...mejo 7.3 pa lang ako sa algeb tas nakaOL pa ko. tsktsk...

out na nga ako...^^ sa blogger...hehe

~ncae. [daw]

2007-01-09T19:50:00.000+09:00

...........di ba ikaw ung...

ano.

un yon eh.

gulo.

uh...

kase...naisip ko lang.

you can only blame me when...you don't start it yourself.

koukousei[ichi!]: Hayaku! Anata wa nikai no ikimasu ka?
koukousei [ni.]: Iya da.
koukousei[ichi]: Naze?
koukousei[ni]: Anou...
koukousei[ichi]: Ano hito tachi o matsu ka? [fck my grammar.]
koukousei[ni]: Iin da yo!
koukousei[ichi]: Ehh~? Doko e ikimasu ka?
koukousei[ni]: Anou...tabun...achira desu! [goes running.]

...

Mattaku wakaranai yo.

...anata ga itta koto...ima demo oboeteru.

........O di ba may naintidihan kau?

Epal ng jap grammar ko....ta3...barok...ung iba naririnig ko lang..kaya un na ung ginamit ko...kahit di ko sure kung tama ung tense ng bherb.

whatever it is that I realized today, the thought will remain strong, and will never be corroded by any verbal influence at all.

...minsan kasi parang nagsisisi akong nawala agad ung inis ko...kasi kahit mawala...bumabalik pa rin...eh mukha naman tayong mga gago nito kung paulit-ulit na lang ang nangyayari. Ta3...di na nagsawa.

argh. panu yan....ganun din un kahit english pa yan..mukhang di nio pa rin gets. ^^

+++

jrock scans...~yey...lots of 'em..^^~ hihi...enjoy ko na lang 'to kahit wala pa rin akong social notebook....mejo bukas na pasahan. Tibay ko talaga.

shit u, public eyes. why did u close your site? T_T

+++

Waahh~~ di ko pa nga pala naddL ung chap 20 ng furuba.

nyaha.

~aww. T_T

......offline pa ung kung san ako suki pagdating sa manga dloading..haufffffttt...

+++

.....ang hindi ko maintindihan...hindi ko alam.

ayoko na nga ituloy.

Wala akong sasabihin. Bahala KA. ThskcfwsntthtstschA? [hehe. daanin sa initials? uh...]

=p

thanatopsis

2007-01-03T18:56:00.000+09:00

Nakikita ko naman eh. ^^

You don't have to make me look so stupid.

You don't have to make me look so pathetic.

or even NAUSEATING enough.

I know you hate me, so you don't have to push it.

I knew.

I wanted to give up right there and then.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to rip my skin off. I wanted to cry.

But there was no one to run to that very moment.

....since I don't want to blame them...I've casted it all onto myself.

Pathetic, isn't it?

I couldn't even cry honestly.

couldn't even...

perhaps that's why for almost the whole day, I was smiling.

+++

Today is a story day. People talk about what happened and stuff. I was one of them.

And for some reason, it feels too uneasy for me to tell that person what happened.

Shitloads of sentimentality...

+++

Aun. Dami gagawin. *buntong-hininga* [pede naman *sigh* na lang itype ko..XD.. kaso english. waha.]

thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.
thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.BLEACH.thanatopsis.
thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.GUITAR.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.
thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.FRIENDSTER.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.
thanatopsis.RANONLINE.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.
thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.JROCK.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.
thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.BLOGGING.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.
thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.
YM.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis.thanatopsis. +_________+

shaks.

DIARY pa pala. may kulang pa kong araw... tsktsk.

ung pinapagawa pa saken ni effer[dyok lang ung neym]!

Bukas na daw yun. Ba't kasi ako.

Cosmo108: Your words are too hard and strong. It's too hard to make a tone for it.

'Yon. Kaya nakakapagtaka kung baket ako pa ang napili mong gumawa nun.

[but i'm thankful to know that you appreciate my works.]

+++

Matindi ang pakiramdam ko na....

mahaba na ang post na 'to....at naging emo na naman ako. :(

Not a good sign.

+++

Ung poem na isheshare ko sana d2. Di ko na makita....pfft. XC

bbness~~

ayaw ko na magretype

2006-12-31T00:13:00.000+09:00

....kainis.

Nawala ung ipopost ko.

~roadtripping

2006-12-29T10:08:00.000+09:00

^^

Happy new year sa lahat...

Grr~ness.

Nababanas ako....di bale, pag-uwi na lang mamaya magpopost ako ulit.

Kamusta naman ung mg boga dito...?

XD

Tamaan sana ako. Dyok.

+++

And I will stand for YOU
even if I lose it ALL
Because nothing really matters.
YOU ARE ALL THAT MATTERS.

^^

+++

Hayyyy...I miss church and school.

Kahit kelan ata di ko pa namiss ung bahay ko.

O_O

no title

2006-12-27T23:47:00.000+09:00

Hay naku...araw-araw na lang lagi ko na lang di naaabutan ung x3.

[x3 schedule: 4pm-5pm]

saturday - nandun kmi sa pinsan ko
sunday - filmfest
monday - naglaro si drek ng 4pm.
tuesday - pina-dc ng tito ko ng 3:30...gagamit daw siya saglit ng fone. Pagkababa nia ng fone...nagring...para kay mama ung tawag. Nung natapos si mama sa fone, tapos na rin ung x3. O di ba naabutan ko.
wednesday - pumunta kami sm ni marv. 3:00...umuwi kami 5pm na.

Ayos.

Nakakawalang-gana maglaro.

+++

Gumawa ako ng bagong character. Sa ibang server.

Weak pa rin. ^^

Naimpluwensyahan ko rin ata si marv. Gumawa din siya ng bagong character.

~yea.

+++

[Senti mode ba 'to?]

She called me up to help me fix a few confusing things in my mind.

I must admit she really eased my burden. And she, most of all, had made me admit things that I have been trying to bury in me that I should be letting out all along.

I feel really grateful that she made me realize those things.

But right now, I don't know where to start even.

I wanted help, but I don't even know if I had the right to ask for it from others.

That's why I honestly don't ask anything from anyone, I just want them to listen to me when i talk about my problems, but I don't want them to take action...

because I don't think I have that kind of right to be helped by someone.

Especially....in my current situation.

It's a stupid thought, you see.

But I myself don't know why I feel like that.

+++

Now I wouldn't really care how much you find me nauseating.

Hate me as much as you want, I won't stop you.

God bless you.

MeriKuri! =^.^=

2006-12-25T22:37:00.000+09:00

Malapit nang matapos ang date na 'to.

[Ang fangirleh nung title...:-S]

Babati muna ako. [ngak. parang nasa variety show XD]

Merry Christmas to:

+ Faye Alice
+ Nelson [^^]
+ Jemimah
+ Lemuel
+ Doris
+ Mon2
+ Donna
+ Arabelle
+ Gathe
+ Alliana
+ Seky
+ Mel
+ Ashley
+ Ruth
+ Jerome
+ Jongs
+ Pol
+ Jap
+ Paje
+ Lani
+ Darryl
+ Inno
+ Marvie
+ Wayne
+ Spartans
+ Titans
+ Athenians
+ [.....] Olympians
+ Teachers

Haha. Well.

+++

Tinawagan ako ni Peps...super kumpleto na ung Christmas ko...^^ Grabe... i really want to see you soon...XD nagulat ako...ibang-iba na ung accent mo..pero marunong ka pa rin magtagalog na pinoy accent...galing..

Miss na kita, Peps...uwi ka na d2!!!

Haha.....anu kaya ung pinadala mo?! XD hehe..kinakabahan na ako ah..

+++

Tumawag ako kina Jem kagabi. Wala naman sumasagot.

-----yeah.

2006-12-24T15:58:00.000+09:00

black is beautiful~~

Nyaha..

Di na ako naiinis.

Wala nang lahat. Overnight lang pala ung inis ko. Wala na pagkagising ko. Sabay quiet time.

Okei na ako.

No more hard feelings.

I'm back to normal. ^^

I admit I had it really going on last night, but no matter what, a friend is still a friend.

Walang bawian.

Argh....aalis na kami...anu ba yan...di pa nga ako nakakalayo sa post ko eh...

my0tness..

detahi.

2006-12-24T01:48:00.000+09:00

Waw....ang daming nangyare sa loob ng isang araw.

I wanted to stay happy that day--a selfish desire that comes very rarely to me.

But something stops me from being cheerful.

And wtf...it just DID NOT seem so right at all.

Anyway..it was a good thing he was there.

I couldn't thank him enough...

+++

Shet. Ano ba gusto mo palabasin?

Pinipigilan ko ang sarili ko na magpost dito nang tungkol sayo pero namumuro ka na talaga.

Ta3. Akala mo ba natutuwa pa kami sa ginagawa mo?

Imbis na maawa ako sayo o maconvince ako na dapat kitang pasayahin, parang lalo lang ako naiinis.

Minsan ayoko na nga mamansin.

Noon, maniniwala pa siguro ako na ako nga ung dahilan ng pagiging ganyan mo.

Pero ngayon, ....tinatamad na ako maniwala.

....I know it could really hurt to find out I've written something about you here. I don't want to do the same thing "she"

did to me. I tried to avoid that...but I can't control this any longer.

Two words to describe what you look like to me: immature masochist.

Go figure...you seem to like hurting yourself being like that [and staying like that for a long time], for simple reasons.

You like to make small instances look bigger to the eyes of everyone, but it doesn't go clean with me. I don't know how you

could endure that facade you've been putting up in front of us.

I don't know if anyone else sees it, but ever since 'THAT' day, I felt like I already lost the real friend I was looking for.

I myself couldn't even believe that I can see right through you. Your smiles and facial expressions were too transparent to

behold. And I've always, always noticed that, but I did not want to let anyone know, thinking since you've been trying to

hide it, I might as well hide what I see too.

But right now...I must admit, I never really wanted to feel this, and I feared this day might come, that I might feel just

like what I felt for 'them', but I'm starting to cultivate that annoyance in me, and as much as possible I hope the seed you

planted would only grow a little and wilt earlier than needed. So that we both wouldn't suffer from it.

I promised I won't leave, but you always seem to THINK that I have left, even though I did not, or haven't. I'm so annoyed,

because you make me feel like I'm some kind of fucking moron who can not be trusted at all. Because the moment you asked me

not to leave and then started acting LIKE THAT, I already felt that I WASN'T TRUSTED.

I don't want to say I'm playing on the right side. I'm sharing what I think, and I don't care if people, especially you,

would think I'm wrong.

...don't you have enough common sense to grasp the idea that you're also hurting those who care for you?

or just enough common sense to see that we weren't the ones who left you.

Pag lumalapit kami, ikaw ung lumalayo di ba?!?

Nakakapagod ung paulit-ulit mo na pagpapalabas na parang nakakaawa ung sitwasyon mo. Na ikaw ung naiipit. Naeenjoy mo ba ung

pagpapaulit-ulit mo ng mga ginagawa mo? O naeenjoy mo lang na hinahabol ka ng mga kaibigan mo.

Kase ginagawa namin lahat para mapakita sau na hindi ka namin iniiwan...pero sa nakikita namin...parang kulang pa lahat yon.

dahil ang nakikita mo lang samin eh ung MALI namin. Nung una nakikita ko pang naaappreciate mo ung mga ginagawa namin.

Pero ngaun hindi na. Parang ang iniikutan na lang niyang utak mo eh 'iniwan' ka na namin.

tangna.

Sinisimulan namin lagi na maganda ung usapan, pero pinapalala mo lang talaga ung sitwasyon...

Isipin mo naman sana na nasasaktan din kami sa ginagawa mo.

Hindi lang ikaw ung umiiwas na makita ng ibang tao na nasasaktan ka.

INIWASAN NAMIN NA UMABOT SA GANITO.

PERO PINAABOT MO.

+++

Ayan.

Pagod na ako...Tuloy na lang bukas.

Easy lang. Wala naman akong binanggit na pangalan.

Ang magreact, guilty.

[bakit nga pala ganyan ung title ng post na 'to? dahil ba yan kay 'flesym_deredrum'?!? XD...ewan. ayaw ko na magsalita. bbness.]

hay. pagud. =p

2006-12-19T21:25:00.000+09:00

Nagbago na isip ko.

Ayoko na pala ng CD ni hyde.

Un sana regalo ko sa sarili ko para sa pasko.

Kaya lang...naisip ko...hindi ko naman kelangan ng original...dahil napakadali naman idownload nung album nia sa net. Wala pang bayad.

Anu naman kaya bibilhin ko para saken?

XD

Ang hirap mag-isip.

......Babatiin ko na lang ung sarili ko.

Hehe.

Ang arte kase bibilhan ko pa ako...eh..pede naman hindi.

Teka...*one big wide grin*

ICE SKATING NA LANG PALA!

XD

Maghahanap na lang ako ng matinong kasama. Yung kasing tino ko. Para sabay kami babagsak. Pabasaan na lang ng pants. Nyaha!

Dami ko na rin pala nasusubmit na [...]. Pero mejo 'madami' akong natatanggap na [...]. Baka naman ASA lang talaga ako at feeling. Nakakainis.

+++

Sa bakasyon maglalaro ako ng Ran...palagi. Sana nga lang...makalaro ako "lagi". Napag-iiwanan na nila ako. T_T Sige na nga hanap na lang ako ng mga kasingweak ko lang...kung may natitira pang ganun. [o di ba senti. XD dyok lang.]

+++

Nakatambak na ung mga regalo dito....hay. Magbabalot na ako ng mga ireregalo...pati ung mga ibibigay ko sa Spartans. ^^

+++

Teka kwento pala muna..

Ta3 talaga kanina...pagkakataon ko na sana maglaro sa netopia kanina. Sup3r badtrip, kase di ako nakalaro...ang hirap kc magdecide...ta3. tae talagaaa.

Ang lumalabas tuloy ALIBI ko lang ung paglalaro sa netopia.

Parang alibi niya lang rin. eh...argh. Nakakainis.

Isipin nio na lang kung gaano kalaking advantage ang paglalaro dun. Kahit kailan di pa ako naglag...sa lahat ng beses na naglaro ako dun...kahit nung gamit ko pa si tetonishi..tska si -LarC-...tas x3 pa. tas may rosary pa ako. Sayang talaga.

Eh di may HT sana ako. :-S di naman ako masyadong nabanas di ba.

Pero ok lang...nakasama ko naman si mon...natutuwa talaga ako sa kanya ngaun. Sana magustuhan nia ung regalo ko...kahit maliit lang...

Naguguluhan din ako sa sarili ko ngaun. ^^

Ah basta. Un.

+++

WAAH!!! Ang saya~~~ yeynezz. May nangangaroling sa labas ng bahay...XDXD puro bading.. angkyut nila. Hehe..hayaan na muna namin kumanta..hanggang matapos.

Ang haba ng kanta...[ang lakas..rinig hanggang dito sa may pc]

XD...waha. Umalis na sila. Binigyan pala ni mama eh. "binigyan"..

Wala lang. Pinagkatuwaan lang sila dito. [waah...sayang di nila kasama dun si paulaness...hay..oo nga pala.. Siga na nga pala ung puto ko...XD]

XD..ahaha...sana ung next na magcacaroling kantahin ung boom tarat tarat. Pero hindi namin sila lalabasin...wala lang. Gusto ko lang makarinig ng unique na carolling. Walang kwenta ung mga 'we wish you..' tska 'sa maybahay..' ewan..mali pa ata lyrics ko. Luma na un eh!

+++

Teka...alis na nga ako..humahaba na naman eh.

~yey! Balot time..XD

2006-12-18T20:40:00.000+09:00

She cries.

and they come to her.

She tells them why.

And for once she thought...

She need not lie.

She smiles.

She thanks them...

for listening to her.

That was the most important thing.

And to her, it was more than enough.

+++

Corniness. I talk like EMO. shiznits...eniwey.

I am confused.

+++

~resigned to be your fool.

Oh well.

Yours BOTH?

bakla, bakla ka...bakla.

2006-12-17T23:02:00.000+09:00

What a dhei.

Bago kami umalis ng bahay...nagbasa ako ng DNote, last 5 chapters na lang...tas... tapos ko na. Bitin, kase nagsimba kami bago ko basahin ung last 5 chapters....nakakaexcite umuwi...XD

Nagsimba kami..at..grabe...DA BES talaga si Lord...adik..ang galing...nakakatuwa.. aun, kahit late kami dahil may kanya-kanyang kaming unique na kabagalan, may naabutan pa naman kaming maganda sa message. Hanep, loopet ni Peter Tanchi...ahhdek.. tlga..tas..may bagong branch..inintroduce samen...XD galing tlga.. sana talaga matupad ung vision ng ccf...waah..excited na ko makita ung mangyayare dun..all things are possible with God...He works in ways even beyond our way of thinking..sobra. o^^o...I luurvve the Lord. Too much.

Next week, may youth Christmas party..na di ko mapupuntahan..dahil...may party kami sa tita ko. At...naalala ko ung tshirt ng Dream Theatre na ireregalo ko kay kuya.. nakalimutan ko bilhin.

Aun...sana makapunta ako sa Araneta sa 24!! Sana kasama ung mga kaibigan ko..wah, gusto ko isama ung buong batch..para makita nila kung Sino nga ba talaga ung Diyos na sinasamba nila...hayy~~ ang saya siguro nun. Ilang oras na praise and worship din un...

+++

Punta kaming southmall...dami ko binili...waah...muka ako tanga...dami bitbit kanina..tas...dasal ako nang dasal.."sana walang makakita sakin na kilala ako."

Hauuuuuu. Panu ba naman...nakapambabae ako kanina...as in gurlaloo talaga. Sinuot ko pa ung bigay sakin nung kris kringle na something freaky...tas..bsta..nhhiya ako sa suot ko.

Aun...pagkatapos magmerienda naglaro muna saglit sina drek at clarice ng Panic Park.. namimiss ko na maglaro nun...di nga lang bagay saken na maglaro nun kanina..dahil sa suot ko..tas dahil na rin sa dami nang bitbit ko. Tska..nasa gitna pa ng maraming tao...gusto ko ung Panic Park dun sa may 3rd floor.. para tago.. [isip bata eh]...XD masaya kaya un...gusto ko talaga maglaro ng Panic Park... nang may kalaban..kase pang-2 player tlga un...di naman ako mejo mukang tanga kung ako lang mad-isa di ba..XDXD

aun..habang naglalaro sila..naghihintay ako...at naiinis ako dun sa batang epal na nakikipindot kina drek at clarice...inantay nia talagang maubos lahat ng mga token nila..bago siya tumigil makisali..di ko naman pede sawayin..kase baka umiyak tas magsumbong sa nanay, ipakulong pa ako. [kru. exaj..XD]

+++

Eto mejo masaya.. kumakain kami sa jolibee sa may casimiro, kase nagutom sila..eh ako pakiramdam ko kakakain pa lang... may laruan sa 2nd floor nung jolibee dun... ambilis ni drek kumain..sabay sabi 'ma pede ako maglaro dun?'... eh di aun... kuentuhan kami ni mama...tas..maya-maya may narinig kaming mga bata...nagsasalita.. tumahimik kami ni mama..

Drek: Anu ba ginagawa ko sa inyo?!
Batang babae 1: Weh..bakla ka naman eh~ bakla!
Batang babae 2: Oo nga.
Drek: Salbahe~!
Batang babae 1: Waah bakla...haha! bakla bakla bakla *chants to death...*
Batang babae 2: Oo nga!

Sa table namin:
Mama: *tumatawa...sobrang tagal...di nga makakain kase sobrang tawang-tawa sa mga bata*
Ako: *mas lalong tumatawa dahil tinawanan pa ni mama ung nangyayare.. di rin makakain*
Clarice: Uh...ma? Abot na ba ako sa 4 feet?

----tahimik.[kru?]---- tingin kami kay clarice.

Mama: Di pa?
Ako: Ang laki mo na may balak ka pa maglaro jan? [kung magsalita ako parang hindi ko gustong maglaro ng Panic park]
Clarice: Ehh..
Ako: Iligtas mo na lang si Edric sa kanila. [XD]
Mama: Pag ginawa niya un..tatawagin naman si Clarice na 'tomboy! tomboy ka naman eh~~ wahaha!'

+++

...Hay naku. Weird talaga. Ang korni pa ng post ko.

Mag-ooffline na ako. Tapos na ako magpost. ^^

~yey I'm back

2006-12-15T22:00:00.000+09:00

ang tagal magload ng friendster.

Friendster....

friendster?!? Ngaun ko lang ulit nabuksan friendster ko! XD

tapos..hindi pa magloload.

Waah. ta3 30 minutes nang nagloload....close ko na nga.

*click* XD

+++

Ran. Anu ba....tinatamad na ako maglaro ng OL games.

Sobra.

Kaya lang naisip ko..baka tinatamad lang ako dahil wala pa akong HT. WAAH. lalo na pag ung mga nagyaya sau maglaro hindi mo rin nakakaparty..ta3 tlaga.. kase kaya ka nga sumasama sa kanila kase akala mo magkakaparty kau..eh di sana sa bahay na lang ako naglaro, kase ganun rin. kung umuwi agad ako...di sana ako grounded. Makakapunta sana ako dun. Bobo ko. ta3.

Nakakabanas. Ngaun na ang huling araw na maglalaro ako ng Ran sa computer shop. [DAW] dahil grounded din ako at gabi na daw lagi ang uwi ko.

+++

Lapit ko na palitan ung layout. [at kamusta naman ung blog ni ruth?]

XD

gagawan ko na nga ng paraan un. ^^

+++

I'm going to reread Partner...wah...kahit shoujo un [Note: when I say shoujo, I mean.. romance...love story, girly art..ung malalaking mata...senti, drama], tska maikli lang....un..wala lang. Ang ganda eh...XD people should know about it and read it. I don't get tired of it myself...hehe.
Lapit ko na matapos bsahin ung Death note...~yey.. tapos bleach naman![shounen] Tapos bago ko matapos ung bleach...makukuha ko na ung ergo[shounen?!]. at rozen[shoujo..^^]...tas...ung sabbath[psych] tska goth[psych]..XD..supahappi~ hehe...

I don't think I'd be able to get over my 'anime-loving' side. I think I'm going to be an otaku forever...awts. sakit na ba un pag ganun..? Nyaha. Pero..baka sa future ung mga anime puro CG na o kaya FMV.....

Teka. wala naman ata nakakarelate saken. XD

Asa naman.

+++

"Ang sarap siguro manood sa Grand [blahbah] Night ng PDA sa Araneta..nood kaya tau?"

...sabi ng tita ko.

Naisip ko lang..concert nga ng hillsong hindi ko napuntahan tas ngaun pupunta ako dun...kahit di sa Araneta ung venue.

Wala lang. ^^

Waah. Awt na ako. La na ako masabe.

+++

Meron pa pala. Last na 'to. Ang TSISMAKS tlga ng mga tao.

Un lang. ^^

"sana umapaw ung creek" -chenung

2006-12-10T21:51:00.000+09:00

Badtrip.

...

BAKET?!?

+ Didn't go to church.
+ Didn't get to buy 'that' shirt. again.
+ Chose not to buy that earring I've always wanted but wasn't sure if i should buy it
+ Thought it wasn't a really good idea.
+ Got mom mad for taking so long to go where she wanted me to at the mall.
+ Went home a little later than usual.
+ Got soaked from the rain. Jem was right after all. Umbrellas are useless.
+ Took the trike rather than the taxi because every taxi that had passed by were occupied.
+ Got soaked from the rain.
+ Had been trying to connect to the net for two-hours.
+ Made 100+ dial attempts to the net.
+ Had the first Kris Kringle gift I'd be giving broken the moment I got home.
+ Went through a lot of trouble to find a good replacement for the gift.
+ After connecting to the net, opened up YM to find a package of "NO FIELD TRIP TOMORROW" rumors and all that.
+ Found out that there were classes tomorrow.
+ Found out that there won't be any FIELD TRIP tomorrow.
+ Realized that since there would be classes then assignments should be passed tomorrow instead of on tuesday.

~~wala na ako maisip. Wala namang masyadong importanteng nangyari sa araw na 'to. Mga minor incidents lang naman yan.

Ang ginaw. amf..

+++

Naalala ko ung Princess Tutu...Basically it's inspired by the Ugly Duckling. If you watch the first few episodes you'd prolly think it's just some child's play.... something lacking maturity that may as well be compared with Sanrio..XD.. j/k..

But actually, I think it's a really good series, especially since it contained the Hayao Miyazaki atmosphere and when I first noticed it I thought it was a production of Studio Ghibli.

Who cares about this part of my post?

+++

May pasok bukas. Ta3.

Wala lang.

+++

Naglalaro na ako ng Tantra!...

2nd account ko na 'to. At hindi naman hi-lvl ung una. Asa nmn. XD

Kaya ba ng pc ko ung memory nito? |~| may installer nga...eh ung video card naman ata indi kaya 'to. Tas dial-up pa ako. Anu ba yan X(

......

waa.

+++

I really luurrrve the Lord. ^^ Hehe. <3<3<3

bias

2006-12-07T21:54:00.000+09:00

Ang dami ko naiisip.

Di ko alam kung ano ung uunahin.

Ang gulo talaga.

Ang gulo MO talaga.

Naguguluhan na ako. [obyoos?]

+++

~yey, pahinga na. Ang dami naman nangyayari ngaun. NA HINDI ACADEMICALLY-RELATED saken. At walang pakealam si Bunakyoo don.

Asa naman.

Sobrang ~ewan. Anu ba dapat maramdaman ngaun~~? Parang ang boring na kase maging senior.

+++

At ikaw, malaking feeler...wala lang.

^^ You're just proven how low you've sunken.

But I could say that there were still a few [or maybe more than whom I've witnessed] whom you still haven't made idiots out of.

You did not make idiots out of my group. We know what we're thinking. And the rest of the crowd had attested to that.

Did you not hear? The long ABSENCE OF SOUND from EVERYONE ELSE in that gymnasium that lone moment.

I really enjoyed that stunt XD

"Publicly losing to the OLYMPIANS is a silent victory to the SPARTANS."

That's most probably what my group felt. The moment it was announced that you've won, everyone else saw the different side.

I, most especially, did not feel bad about the ranking, in fact I expected it. I'm not ranting now because we lost, I'm ranting because it was widely known in the campus that your group goes beyond the limits, AND THERE WERE A FEW FUCKERS WHO WERE TOO OBVIOUSLY BIASED, ACTUALLY. Couldn't they just act a little secretly?

Everyone else, believe me, saw through you and your pathetic "sidekick".

Sino kaya sa inyong dalawa ung sidekick? Syempre walang magpapatalo, kelangan parehong master. XD walang kwenta na naman pnagsasabi ko.

+++

At...wala lang. ~ewan.

Wala na ako masabi.

half of a white flag

2006-12-03T22:18:00.002+09:00

Double post for the day.

Ayoko na talaga.

Ba't ba dumagdag ka pa?

Hindi na PO sayo umiikot ang mundo ko.

Anything between us are all just trivial matters now.

You SHOULDN'T care what happens to me. What I speak about, what I do, and most especially--WHAT I AM.

By saying that, YOU MADE ME HATE MYSELF MORE. Congratulations.

hyde~ ^.^

2006-12-03T20:45:00.000+09:00

Aww... =^.^=

[sh!tn fangirl mode]

I have to agree with her... Hyde HAS GOT TO BE -if not the most- one of the most beautiful men alive.

How could he look SOOO 20 when he's twice as old, and how could he look so much as a non-smoker when he smokes a lot, and how could he look so pretty even as the opposite gender? [Clickku to enlarge the pikku] ^^

Haha. ~yeyness, if you don't even know him you would think that he's FEMALE.

So much for the resurrection of my hYde addicshun.

Hehe...I just like him anyway. But the fan-celeb relationship had started with his voice. Fourth Avenue Cafe mutuality. ^^

wahaha.

[/sh!tn fangirl mode]
+++

Okei...next topic.

May pasok n nmn bukas. Parang mas okei pa sakin na magkasakit na lang tapos biglang gumaling pag dismissal para sa practice ng speech choir...

di ba..?

Instead of enduring 2 long periods of Physics, with the drowsiness prolonged by Mapeh...

The only real thing going on for tomorrow would probably be English.

Now I'm even hating Computer classes.

Every day is the same old stuff, subjects just change schedule, but apart from that, there's nothing really exciting.

Wala bang pwedeng mangyari na bago? Ung iba sa dati?

Kahit ung mga pandaraya na nakikita ko, di na rin bago saken. XD

+++

Nagtatanong na si Jomai kung kelan kami mag-a-ice skeyting... haha ~yey!

Di ko pa alam kung kelan pero...malapit na un. ^^

Excited na ko matumba-tumba dun sa yelo. ano...dafa~! XD

+++

63 pa lang ako sa Ran. Tapos gusto ko pa magTantra...eh hindi ko naman makita kung saang lupalop ng bahay nilibing ung installer ko.

FREEPLAY NA UNG TANTRA! PERMANENTLY!

Tapos 10x EXP! PERMANENT din!

Haha...desperado pala silang pabalikin ung mga players nila eh. XD

Pag nahanap ko na ung nagtatago kong installer... sasabihin ko "TAYA!"...

dyok. teka...hindi naman yata un ung sinasabi pag nahuli sa taguan di ba...?

Ayoko na nga. Ang korni.

Hehe.
Awt na ko.

fcuking cheaters

2006-12-01T20:02:00.000+09:00

What is winning all about anyway?

By winning, you get all the fame and you'd feel power over those people you've won over.

But that doesn't mean that TO WIN you have the right to STEP on everyone else who is involved.

It's disgusting to see what you're doing, especially since you're now in your SENIOR year in high school.

By doing "THAT", you've just deprived AT LEAST [take note] THREE-FOURTHS of the whole school population of a total enjoyment of the event. Who knows if even the remaining 1/4 would feel like thay really belong to the victory you would acquire soon enough...

The only person/s I could see enjoying the whole thing is/are YOU.

Assuming I'm talking to both persons, yes, I see you're both enjoying what's going on. But behind all that, you've just DEPRIVED EVERYONE of their right to enjoy themselves.

Perhaps it might be selfish thought, but IF EVER I AM SELFISH because of posting this and thinking like this...THEN EVERYONE ELSE WHO SEES WHAT I COULD SEE MUST BE SELFISH AS WELL. We're not stupid, nor blind, and I don't know if we are just afraid...but we know the whole cheating shit that you're both doing.

WILL WINNING THIS HELL OF A CONTEST MAKE YOU REIGN SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL?!?

What the fcuk, do you even know what you're risking?

You're wasting our time. MY time. EVERYONE'S TIME. If you would so much as go this way just to win, then why spend time for contests? Why not just declare your group as the winners without having them compete with others? After all, that was what "YOU" want, and that is what "SHE" wants.

Right now, I don't really care about winning anymore but I'm trying to exert enough efforts. WE'RE TRYING TO. But I'm at the verge of feeling it's going to be useless anyway.

The Mafia? I don't know what you're planning to do, but if you hate the SPARTANS or any other groups EXCEPT your group, TAKE IT OUT ON THE LEADERS. Not on any of our groupmates. As for my group, I might not be there to 'protect' them -literally or not-, but if you do anything to them especially to her, I'd pwn you. I'm not threatening or anything, but I might be worse than 'him' when mad.

I don't even know how serious you could get, but seeing how it had been turning out so far, I feel like you'll go beyond your limits.

I know you hate my group, but I did not confront you about it, did I? I've let you hate us, but if you go too far in the next event, I'll really let it all out on you.

And yeah, even if you have the best people in your group, then I think[in this case, i don't know if I'm alone or not, but I have this big hunch that MANY WOULD AGREE] YOU aren't one of them. Just like looking for a perfect set of friends, whom you can't join because you'll only make the set imperfect since you're not a perfect person.

I really liked you once, but now I really hate you, so much that I want to step up to you and punch you. I HATE you for depriving my groupmates of the real thing that should happen in this school event.

I know you don't care if I hate you. WHO WAS I TO YOU, ANYWAY?

Di ba lahat ng BASURA sa group 2 NIYO ilalagay?

And YOU, I don't care if you read this, and destroy my character behind my back, I am expressing my opinion, and this is my blog. This is what I feel about what's going on, and no one INCLUDING YOU has the right to change what I think just because you think I'm wrong. You're the HIGHNESS in your ROYAL blog, but that doesn't extend up to here.

O, kilala mo na kung sino ka? tsktsk.

I know what you're thinking. "She's going to regret everything that she said in this fucking blog of hers."

I'm standing for what I think is right, so I don't think I really need regretting.

+++

Grabe hiningal ung daliri ko dun...ang haba ng tinype ko...tuloy-tuloy pa...O_O..

pahinga muna. Lapit ko na palitan ung layout ko ^^

Judge me, you readers..Am I a delinquent? HUH? HuH?!? [sabay tawa] A delinquent!

Dyok. Wala lang. Wala magawa eh. May practice n naman bukas. Siguro may tatlong step kaming madadagdag. Haha...dyok..Kru.

thanks to reming, tomorrow is sht.

2006-11-29T23:53:00.000+09:00

amf na ~~araw~~ gabi 'to.

Kasalanan lahat ni PURING. [ung character sa ragna, ayon sa pagkakabigkas ni mam dyista XD]

Jok lang. walang kinalaman si Puring dito.

Nawawala ung phone ko. Peeryood.

Enjoy ba?

Eh, ang nakakabanas pa dun...wala lang. Ang tanga ko kase eh.

+++

Wala na...tuyung-tuyo na ako sa libangan. Walang Ran, walang console games, walang JROCK T_T, walang dload...wala lahat. Kahit praise and worship songs.

Eto ngang pagbblog sinisingit ko na lang.

Ayan, antok na naman ako. Gusto ko pa maglaro.

+++

AYOKO NAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Pagod na pagod na ako. Baka mauna pa maubos platelets ko.[knock on metal XD]

Ang galing ko talaga ---> "Kaya pa!"

Hehe...sa totoo lang. ganito ung rating:

kaya pa [ - - - - - - - - x - ] hindi na

ayan. minarkahan ko na kung nasan na ung lugar ko jan.

walang kinalaman ung phone ko dito.

Sobrang bibigay na 'ko. pero..ewan. KAYA PA.. hehe. weee....

+++

Well. Malapit ko na malaman... kung totoo nga ba ung 'cheaters never win'.. gaya ng sabi ng iba, na-debunk na daw un nung kuhanan ng card last quarter. Baka mangyare ulet...

Wala na ako masabi.

+++

I want to read Furuba all over again + the latest released chappies~~ pati mpd psycho.. pati psychometrer eiji...anne freaks, ~~homunculus~~ [oops, no more porn XD], haven't finished my death note yet, but..not Angel Sanc..i've grown tired of rereading them, although it gets better every time I read it.. @_@ everything.. i want to read all of my mangas all over again... i want to watch X from the series up to the movie version. And...perhaps view again "that" movie...^^

ARGH.

In short, I want to rest.

Gusto ko ung tulad nung dati na nalululon lang ako sa mundo ko. Hindi ung masyado akong naiinvolve sa mundo ng ganito karaming tao. Ang hirap kaya maglead. pfft.

+++

If anything, this would actually sum up who I was before. [a marquee from my old blog]

out in the cold i stand

looking on at the world sitting tight,

with its people in their nice little worlds

and the friends who don't even know me.

it makes no difference to their world where i am.

if i'm there, it keeps going;

if i'm not, it goes on,

while i walk around, wandering, wondering,

my mind a mass of mixed-up machinery,

clashing with conflicts and unanswered questions.

i don't ask if the world is real --

it sits up there on its foundations,

secure, concrete, hard and stone and real.

but i'm not real--

or if i am, maybe i shouldn't be.

they answer, "smile, God loves you."

but i can't smile.

i'm numbed by cold inside and out.

even the heat in the square brick buildings

would only warm my body, nothing else.

i'm alone in a world full of people,

apart, shut up inside myself,

cold, unfeeling,

in a cold,

unfeeling world.

And...yep. I used to hate myself, and currently I DO hate myself. Sometimes, anyway. It dies every once in a while, but these days my self-diminishment grows with a frequently increasing rate. I hate who I am for a lot of reasons, and I don't think people need to tell me or anything, I know that the person to be blamed is me, and I DO blame myself. God is out of the question because I don't blame Him for who I am today. He gave me the will to choose for myself, and He has plans, but somehow, I always end up with the wrong decision.

hmftness.

oosteh?

2006-11-26T22:38:00.000+09:00

Balik na naman ako dito. Kahet BANGAG.

Test sa USTe. amfness tlga, test I pa lang tulog na ko. Oke lang, di naman bilang un pag chineck. Sabi nila.

+++

Kanina sa Shakey's, kumakain kami ni mama...[obyoos.] wala na siyang ibang inopen-up na topic kundi 'si James ba graduating na?', 'si James pala doctor ung kinuha?'...

BLAAAA-BLAAA. AMF.

Pakealam ko dun. WALA AKO PAKEALAM DUUUUUUUN.

Asa naman un.

Tapos binabago ko ung topic, wala, bumabalik pa rin talaga sa kanya.

ta3. Pero...mejo nagtagumpay din ung -change-topic- plan ko. waha. Saya.

Para sa mga chuvang di kilala si James, wala na akong balak ipakilala siya sa inyo. Di na kelangan. Balew b keu?

+++

Nakabili kami ng Sparkle kanina. [Pinoy version: Isparkol!] ~yeyness.

+++

Dumadami na ung ticket ko ng free ice skating. ~YEYness ulet. XD
hehe.

+++

RAN. Dati sabi ko tinatamad na ko maglaro. ngaun...gustung-gusto ko na ulet. *___*
Nabasa ko sa mag kanina...ung mga lvl127 at 140 na quest. At dahil isa akong malaking ASA, un na ung bago kong target.

Hindi ko na target ung lvl67 para sa HT, dahil pangnoob un na pangarap para sa character ko. Asa naman ako.

Di ko alam. Asa lang siguro talaga ako. Hehe.

+++

Tonight this is where i find ME.
Can I be somebody else for all the times i hate myself?

Actually I think it's such a blessing to know that the Lord is still there for me DESPITE my weaknesses and failures. And it's also a blessing to have friends who, like Him, don't just leave me standing here pained when I'm at fault.

And besides, the Lord promised me He won't leave me so I don't think there should be a reason to feel alone. The only depression that could get to me would most probably be because of my...as she called it, 'inferiority complex'.

Yun. Ayan mejo mahaba-haba ba ung post ko...XD

Suko na. Zzz. -_-

yey magpopost na ako

2006-11-22T23:18:00.000+09:00

lantaran na ang plastikan ng mga tao.

palakasan mag-endorse ng Orocan.

Pero parang ayoko na sumali.

O_O

Bahala sila.

+++

Ayoko magmukhang 'feeling.'

Ayoko ren mag-feeling-feeling-an. [naks. bagong vocab]

??pero.. O___o

+++

Nauwi ko ang atatsi case ni "JAN!"

waha. Xp

GO spartans!

yey~

+++

*sigh* somuchformydamnsacrifices.

tho' i find myself reluctant to it, i always come up doing it.

can someone stop me from being like this?

[naks.]

+++

X( argh. Alis na ko.

whew

2006-11-20T23:37:00.000+09:00

pagod.

sorry '~'

2006-11-19T19:57:00.000+09:00

Waaaw...doris. Many many thanks for hearing me out.

And...sorry...^^

ty din.

God is good talaga XD

+++

Lord, sana po talaga makaatend po kami ng Hillsong concert.

^_^

+++

-Owwwkey. Someone already knows about that SI thingy.

It's sort-of a thumbs-down, but it might be that it's like this at first.

Siguro ganun lang talaga nararamdaman ko pag nagsasabi. Sana sa umpisa lang 'to. Gusto ko talaga sabihin un, para gumaan ung pakiramdam ko, hindi para bumigat. ^^

ty sa pakikinig.

+++

At...yun lang moona. Kinukulit ako ni mama. Papaspasin ko na naman ung mga homework ng mga utols ko. Wala naman akong picture ni Jem IRAK, pano ko gagawan ng costume si Edric? XD dyok

alis na ko.

ryojouku no ame

2006-11-16T22:19:00.000+09:00

"...sorry dahil sinolo ko ung computer ha...it's part of growing up naman eh..."

WTF. XDXDXD....sobrang...pigil kanina ung tawa ko...grabe... siguro kung di ko pinigilan ang lakas siguro ng tawa ko. Letter po iyan na iniwan ng isang nagmamahal na katipan sa isang yunit ng computer[okei..nag-english]...inialay nia ito sa katipan niyang labis na nagdamdam sa nangyari.

Hay. Grabe....kanina sa com lab...dala ni roda ung mga burn na cd ng diruuuu... XD... buhay na naman [nang konte] ang jrock spirit ko. Ngaung week na to... tuyong-tuyo na talaga ako, as in walang jrock. parang nagfafasting. Hehe.

Narinig ko na sa wakas ang Ryojouku no ame...grabe ang galing ng gitaraaaaaaaa....

I luuurrrve KAORU very much. STILL.

XD

hehe... I would love Kaoru more if he shaves off that grass hanging by his chin. the 'grass' term was credited to MONICA. [wrong grammar pa ako]

Waw...grabe...excited na ako hiramin bukas ung ipod ni mon...kuntento na ako sa pakikinig ng jrock, ayoko na magkuento...baka maulit lang ung nangyari noon..haha.

+++

Walang tulugan ngaun. Speech choir matters. I really hate this stuff. But if the Lord wants this for me, I'll try my best naman to like it. Aye?

well, hula ko haggard na naman itsura ko bukas. Shet. Di na ako tinatablan nung MGA gamot na iniinom ko...kahit ata magoverdose pa ako, wala pa rin epekto. Di na nawawala ung putla ko. Abnormal amf.

Hehe. Antayin ko na lang singilin ako.

Ngak. Korni amf tlga..XDXD

+++

Jem. Sadya ba un? ^^ I know what you feel, but i don't want you to believe me that i do because i'm saying so. You don't know how my mind works just yet, but trust me, from the start, i think i've already seen through you.

I don't want to tell you who I think you are, or what you feel straight to the point, not because it's going to hurt you, but because I have a useless diction when talking personal to someone.

Don't try to chunk it out from me or get mad if I don't want to say what you want me to. To tell you the truth, I find it really offending when I BLATANTLY don't want to share anything and you keep on nudging me to tell you. Because I want to keep some things to myself, and with what's happening right now, I need time to think about these things.

I NEED TIME.

+++

TSAROT. Nagsenti na naman. Ayoko na magsenti talaga. Lagi ko sinasabe di ko naman ginagawa. Di na ba talaga pwede iwasan? May dahilan naman ako para maging senti.. kaya siguro...mejo ok lang..

AT UNG MGA ADEK JAN...

magtag naman kau. pls?

A Message for Adrienne

2006-11-15T21:25:00.000+09:00

If possible, I wanted this to be my last post involving you.

Past is past. As much as possible...I wanted to stick with that 'superstition' right now.

There were people who actually knew about it, and I don't really expect them to understand my pain, but when i think about it, they're really helping me out through this.

Just a very little portion left. After that, I'd feel nothing.

After that little part is buried away, then there'd be no more emotions running for you.

Sometimes I wonder what took me so long to hide it from my friends, and if I told them earlier, if only I had that courage to speak up to them about it, if I didn't hesitate and think that talking about it is useless, would I have moved on sooner?

Would I have lost that feeling sooner...?

-Omoide ni naritakunai- . . . Actually I think I would have been more satisfied if I did tell somebody a long time ago. But my problem back then was I choose what to tell people. And obviously I did not choose talking about you.

Why -this- all of a sudden?

I stumbled upon Underoath's song "A Message for Adrienne". My special dialogue for my episodic story was taken from this song. And...who the heck cares.

I'm posting it anyway. Long live screamo.

i tried so hard to be her day
but the night has already taken me away
shedding dreams under the maple tree
where i carved your name
nothing left, not even time
straight reads the line
his life had reached the end
wanting only to be loved by adrienne
latters explained his grief
but she would never read
his wrists would bleed
but she ~~WOULD NEVER SEE~~ HAD NEVER SEEN
so he took his life at the age of ~~twenty-three~~ seventeen
and she had always loved him
but he would never know
for she covered her love
like stars cover the sky
hiding her heart
fearing what he would find inside
years took her away
a widow she remained
holding him deep inside
wishing she too would die
time favors no one and if we wait
we too can fall in love
a second too late

+++

Kuntento na ako jan sa sinabi ko. At para po saken ang post na yan. SAKEN. Hindi sa inyo. Bahala na kau mag-isip kung makakarelate ba kau o hinde.

*buntung-hininga* dagdag problema talaga 'tong speech choir na 'to.

Go Spartans. At kailangang period ang gamiting at hindi eksklameysyon poynt.

Dahil...

May mga nag-eendorse ng bagong product version ng OROCAN. Pero di ko na kau papansinin. Di ko kayo problema. Ay...teka..

._."

Problema ko ata kau. Pero, ewan. Kung ano man ang kinaiinisan niyo sa grupo ko, sakin nio na lang ibaling [naks]. Amf... mas masaya pa nga siguro kung sakin pa kau talaga galet. Mas okei pa un. Pero, kahit nman magalit p kau, la na ako pake.

Ayoko kayo problemahin. Di naman siguro ganun katagal, pero...habang namomroblema pa ako sa mga speech choir na ka-anu-han, pansamantala ko muna kayong gagayahin.

+++

Nung third year wala naman akong naririnig na nag-uusap ng ran. Puro dota.

Ngaun, Ran na lang palagi. Ang dami na naglalaro. Parang dati pag naglalaro ako, 2 server lang, tapos bawat server, Channel 0 at 1 lang. Tapos lagi pa smooth o kaya normal. Tapos si jongs ung una kong nakilalang skulmeyt na naglalaro nun. 2 lang kami nag-uusap tungkol dun, at nakakatuwa dahil merong nakakaalam, pero hindi karamihan.

EH NGAYON!?

LIMA na ung server. Bawat server, 3 CHANNEL na, at laging BUSY at pag malas ka naman, FULL pa ung channel...di ka makakapasok agad. Tapos, lagi ko na lang naririnig si maykel na nagkukuento. Amfness tlga nakakasawa na.

Wala talagang kuenta. Nakakatamad~~~

Hindi na ako natutuwa ngayon...

+++

Pupunta nga pala si Hepa sa World Trade Center para sa A-kon, wahaha! Gusto ko sumama~~ wish ko lang payagan ako di ba. Tapos~~ewan. Gusto ko na talaga mag-ice skating. Trip ko lang talaga. walang dahilan.

Gusto ko umatend ng a-kon. Hepa, sama ako sau at sa kuya mo, sisingilin ko na ung eternal sabbath at ung goth ko. Sana rin maibigay mo na sa "PASKO" ung ergo proxy at ung rozen maiden. Wahaha! XD Kung magsalita ako parang wala akong mga dapat gawin. Hehe.

+++

Ang haba na naman ng post ko, baka tamarin na naman si doris magbasa. DYOK!

|||COMA||| ---Out na ko d2. Hehe. BB.

Merfed

2006-11-15T05:21:00.000+09:00

"If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to Me and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

I think it won't really hurt to read at least a chapter or two in the Bible. It's really helpful especially right now because I've started to become prone to depression, and I really needed His help. ^^

+++

Owke...ang daming ginagawa. Alam ko kating-kati na si Ruth magpost XD

At ako naman...ewan..gustung gusto na mag-ran... ta3 npag-iiwanan na ako ng panahon. Baka maagnas na sa level XX ang character ko.

+++

OMFGQWERTY. Ung tricycle na sinasakyan ko, tumigil sa harap ng parang parlor, tapos eh di nakikita ko ung loob nung parlor kase malaki ung bintana.

Sa loob nun ay may babae/bAkla[?] na sumasayaw sa harap ng salamin...pero...ewan.. bsta ung napansin ko, ang laki ng boobs nia...as in sooooobrang FAKE ang itsura O_O eh naka-spag pa ung adek, kaya lawlaw ung damit, kitang-kita ung KURBA ng demand at supply. XD

kahit di ko sila naririnig...nakikita ko sila nag-uusap, parang ganito ang naiisip kong usapan nila sa loob. Tawagin natin siya na bubs...teka..tska..english ko na ha, parang mas masaya eh

Bubs: Ayus ba silicon ko..?
Bakla 1: *inggit na inggit* parang ganun na nga...san ka nagpaganyan?
Bubs: Ah, hinde, ako lang naglagay nito saken. wala kasi ako tiwala sa kanila eh.

O di ba. YAK. Haha. Dyok lang yan ha. Hehe.

+++

Dito nga pala natulog si Paul, Seky, Jem at AKO nung gabi bago ngaun. Samin. Si Darryl kasama, pero hindi natulog. Naglaro ng mga isda. Insaniquarium.

Naadik.

Sorry talaga Pol, kung ang habol mo ay mag-Ran...XD

Tulog ka na lang, hehe...

+++

Waaa...papasok na ako, ondaspat na namin mamayaaaaaaaaaaa.

Weyt, naalala ko si mon... "Kurek, Muneka." XD...ky000t..haha..okey..

Alis na ko. 0__o

walang kwentang title

2006-11-12T19:40:00.000+09:00

Worship taym....hay...grabe. Pag -praise and worship session- sobrang...waa... parang ayaw ko na matapos. Ayaw ko na tumigil.

Haha. I love the Lord so much...

Pero...aun nga...kagaya ng sabi ni doris[and thank you for making me realize it], i'm not religious, it's actually more of the spiritual stuff.

+++

Nawala na ung buntot ng buhok ko...wtf tlaga. Balak ko pa naman gayahin ung hairstyle ni Kaoru sa bakasyon....nakakainis ung naggupet saken.... naiikli-an ako sa buhok ko. Nginitian ko lang siya nung nalaman kong pinutol nia ung pinakamahaba kong buhok...mejo last yir ko pa buhok un. amf. pinapahaba ko nga un eh. tapos, ginupit niya ung mag-iisang taon ko nang mahabang heyr. Alam nia naman na di ksama sa gugupitin un.

di na ako magpapagupit sau. 'you're losing one good customer.' Haha. Ang feeler ko talaga. XD

Tapos nalaman ko na...di na pala nagtatrabaho dun si Chelsie/Chelsea/Bruha/Bakla/wtvwtf. 'You're fired!'...hehe. Iyak pala siya eh. Iyak din ako. Di ko na siya makikita. :( Siya nga pala ung kyoot na bding dun dati. Haha. Pati ba naman un...O___o...

naalala ko si mon nung 2ndyir.. 'kita mo ung bakla mo?' haha.. pero hindi si chelsie un. Ung tinutukoy nia...ay...si... Priam. Dyowk! Di nio kilala? Ang bano naman. Dyok ulet.

+++

[english muna] life is full of tough choices.

[okei tagalog na. haha korni] ang hirap naman pumili eh. Lalo na kung...ang pagpipilian mo...ang pagbabasehan ng...

magiging buhay mo sa fyoochur. Hindi pa kasama dito ang course o ang school sa college. Iba pa ung sinasabi ko.

At.....habang tumatagal ay humahaba na naman ang post ko. Ayoko na magkuento. Baka lumala pa ang sitwasyon ko.

+++

Last na 'to.

...

SHET!

Ang hirap pumili na broadway.

ditoditolang

2006-11-11T22:53:00.000+09:00

AGITATED SCREAM OF MAGGOTS ||| di ko alam kung ano mararamdaman...pero tingin ko naman maganda ung pv nito pag buo na...sobra. intro palang ng drowing lupet na. si kyo ba nagdrowing nito..?
Cockroach PV ||| ngaun ko lang nakita. Mas...gusto ko ung pv nito kaysa ung cassis, pero sa music, mas gusto ko ung cassis...wala lang. mejo ayoko lang ung close-up na picture nung ipis sa bandang dulo ng pv. XP
A Message for Adrienne ||| Mejo di pala ako makakarelate sa kantang to eh. Lutong, bullseye. Ang mejo mali lang dun sa lyrics nia...ung '23'. joke..may iba ring di tugma..pero siguro 2 or 3 lang.. gnun pa rin.
Daikei PV ||| pinakauna kong PV ng ayabie. o di ba rhyming pa. dito ko narealize na meron palang mga jrocker na...wag na...baka kase may magreact. dyok. bsta.
Clever Sleazoid PV ||| sa pv lang na 'to hindi ako nagreact agad pag nakakita ng ipis. Siguro sa daming beses nilang naexpose sa camera...resistant na ko.
Better Than Life ||| Naadik na ko sa kantang 'to ng hillsong. Sobra. Pakinggan mo kaya. Hello.
Sayonara ||| May pv ba to...? NagDL ako dati nito...sabi Sayonara PV...nung pinanood ko, PV pala ng Boku, Boku. Amfness. Ang obob kase nung nagrename ng file. Pero...gusto ko ung boses ni Jui sa sayonara..sobra. XD

+++

tama na comments. Pakealam naman ng ibang tao no. Woi, ty kanina ha...masaya na ako na nakinig ka.

malaking bagay na un.

At salamat sa libre.

At...wala. ty ulet. tytyty. tenkyu.

adik ka.

+++

wahaha. Nagstart na ang spitskwayr. yahuu. God's will dapat ang unahin.. hehe.. sana talaga...aun...

tapos na ang self-pity moment. tahan na. Hehe. WTF. Ayoko nga ng ganito. X(

+++

Ruth, magpost ka lang sa blog mo...pwede ka na magpost kahit di pa aus ung layout..

Kapag sinapawan na naman yan ng bagong layout hindi naman mabubura ung mga pinost mo eh. Sorry tlaga di

ko ginagawa...dmi ko tlga kase..inaatupag....gaya ng Ran. DYOK! pramis...dmi ko tlga gawa..

:( sorry tlga...pplitin ko pa rin tapusin...^^

+++

Gusto ko mag-ice skating. Okei, who cares.

fook that dahm mwth

2006-11-09T20:16:00.000+09:00

Anak nmpt333k. KINALAT MO NA?!?!

Sa mga taong walang magawa sa mundo, pwede ba, wag nio gawing libangan ung pagkukuento ng mga sikreto ng iba. Nakakasira kau ng buhay. X____x

pt33k tlga. di ko alam kung pano nakarating. pero...amf...nakarating na nga.

PWDE BA KHIT MINSAN, PIGILAN MO NAMAN YANG PT3KNESS NG BIBIG MO. Maawa k nmn.

Pero...ako...may shinare n nmn akong secret ko [ako ang may-ari ng sikretong un] sa isang tao jan. wag mo sasabihin kahit knino, ha. Umayos ka. Di ko nga dpat ssbihin un eh, ewan ko kung ba't ko nasabi.

+++

Haha...doris..tingin ko ako ung snsabi mo.xpxpxp...hehe Di na ako magpopost ng mahaba..wahaha. Oo nga, naghahanap ka nga talaga ng away. XD dyok lang.

+++

At...spits kwayr na bukas. Naalala ko lang.

Wala pa akong assignments. Mejo "maikli" ung Filipino.

last sentiness?

2006-11-08T22:10:00.001+09:00

"When people ask you for something, give it to them. When they want to borrow money, lend it to them." --Matthew 5:42

I don't have much time left to sink into my selfishness.

As long as I'm still with them, I'd rather be selfless.

+++

Why do you do this...you carry other's burdens, and carry them and carry them and carry them...until you get crushed." - Furuba excerpt

wtf tlga. amf.

Ayoko na magsalita.

Lalo lang ako naiinis sa sarili ko.

Arggh.

Tulog ulit ako dito sa pillows sa baba...kyot kase sa carpet...ung dito sa bahay..kyot ng unan..dito ako matutulog. ditooo. tabi kami ng ipis. XD dyok. mejo 'futon-style' kase eh. XD

+++

Last na 'to. dahil wala pa ako assignment. -65--65--65--65--65--65--65- O______O

X__X wa.

wtf. kainis. Antok na ko. I need 28 toothpicks. Para sa mata, 2 bawat mata, tapos.. palitan every 30 minutes.

Baket?

Hindi para maiwan bukas ung mata ko. Kase, nakakaaliw na palitan after every 30 minutes, at kung ggwin ko nga un, eh di hindi na ako aantukin. Dahil naaaliw na ko! XD

sekunpostfordidey

2006-11-07T22:41:00.000+09:00

to dowis and to ruth: salamat sa pagbisita niyo sa blog ko AT SA PAG-IIWAN NIYO NG TAG.
[edited post]

Thank you! Come again. XD

Ngak. Korni ~~yata~~ nun. Pero masaya na ako pag may nakita akong mga bagong tag... sobra. At least alam ko na may bumibisita ^^

Kahit na...mejo....puro mura ung mga posts ko ngaun..XD...init lang siguro ulo. Haha. Lalamig din 'to. Agad sana. Lalo lang kasi ako nagiging senti pag nababadtrip.

Ayoko ng ganun. ^^ ---dami ko kase naiisip pag naiinis ako eh.

+++

At oo nga pala. May gumawa na ng viruses na kinakalat sa ym. Wag nio iclick kahit ano dun sa mga link. Tulad ng link na to!

Grabe. Tadtad ng offline messages pag nagbukas sa dami ng nadapuan ng virus. Baha. Signal three. Yung tipong sa ibang programs ang bilis magbukas, tapos pag nag-on ako ng ym, ang bagal magload ng window ng offline messages.

[Pag sinabi ko bang OL, ano ibig sabihin nun... OnLine, o OffLine?] XD wala lang.

+++

Wala pa akong homework. Kahit ano. 10pm na. Pag natapos ko lahat ng HW ko ngaun, ang tawag dun, "mirakol"... ung mga imposible ba na nangyayare.

wahaha. pt3k..korni.

May 'pagsasatao' kami bukas sa fil. Pari ako. Saya. Paring...ano...ewan..di pa kase ako nagbabasa. Ano english ng pagsasatao? Humanizing? Humaning? Manning?

Pakorni na nang pakorni..

+++

At doris...dahil...kahapon...kelangan ko tlaga ng heeelllpp. salamat talaga..ulet... sobra...^^ hulog ka ng outer space. dyok.

Pero..salamat nga. wahaha..

Today i felt appreciated. By you and by lem! TY tlga...

wala lang. dahil masaya kapag naaaaaaaaappreciate ka. [di ko shoor kung ilan ba dapat ung 'a' eh.. dinamihan ko na para sigurado]

ruth! ung blag mong adek. Wala lang... Sinabi ko lang.

marese nga pala! tenkyuu den...sobraa...T_T

+++

Bkla kau lahat. Kaya aalis na ako.

---di ko nga alam kung alin talaga ung naramdaman ko sa araw na 'to---

Pi.Es. Wala pa akong notes sa noypi [haha shorkat]. T~T

Ran On-lag Philippines

2006-11-04T19:48:00.000+09:00

RAN.

RAN.

RAN!

Ayoko na. ta3.

Maraming dahilan para ayawan na ang Ran.

- Madaming nang naglalaro
- Lima na ung server. Kalat. Sabog.
- Lakas ng lag.
- Lahat ng matataas na lvel, tingin nila sa lahat ng mas mababa sa kanila, mga weak.
- ~~Naglalaro si Maykel ng Ran. Feeler pa. KALA MO KUNG SINO NA NUNG TUMAAS UNG LEVEL.~~ amf.
- Nakakatamad magpalevel-up dahil maraming sawsaw na kinukuha ung mga lure mo.

Pano..ung swordsman ko sa Fury, di na lage gumagalaw...di ko alam kung baket, di naman siya kasing puno ng Strife.

Nung gumawa naman ako sa Tala, gusto ko rin idelete kaagad.

Nakakatamad talagaaaaaaa.

Parang balak ko na nga idelete ung shaman ko sa strife eh. Pinagamit ko na rin ung shaman ko sa havoc.

Ayoko na talaga.

Epal kasi ng mga mamaw eh.

Pero...ewan. Lalaruin ko pa ren ung sa strife ko. Uubusin ko muna lahat nung e-points ko sa ta3ng account na un. AMF, ang feeler ng mga taong nagsasabe ng 'pahingi ng 100eP" o kaya pahingi 'eP' saken tapos pag sinagot ko ng 'bayaran mo ko', sasabihin nia "ba't naman kita babayaran?"

amf tlga

isa lang naman naiisip ko dun. sino ba siya para bigyan ko ng eP. di naman siya pioneer para sambahin ko at alayan ng eP. Parang mas mataas lang ung level nia samin, tingin nia diyos na siya ng mga ran players ng parsci. amfufu.

Di naman ako masyadong nagagalit sa kanya noh.

Hindi naman dapat. [Jem: very Christian!]

Hindi naman talaga dapat. Binubuhos ko lang sa kawawa kong blog. Lagi na lang sinasalo ng blog ko ung galet ko.

Haha.

Hay...pero kahit na ayoko na. Ganun pa rin. Maglalaro pa rin ako.

+++

Pinapunta ako sa Southmall pagkatapos ng MTAP para suportahan ung kapatid ko sa contest nia.

Umabot ako eh.

"umabot".

Sayang pamasahe.

Tsktsk.

+++

Namimiss ko na ung Splinter Cell....

wala lang.

+++

NagMTAP ako ngaun. [importante na ito ang huling topic ng post ko.]

Tapos...umuwi na.

O di ba ang dami nangyare.

+++

...

1 out of 3

2006-11-03T19:40:00.000+09:00

O...anu to...

"As long as you find that you need to use that person for something that will be of benefit to your entertainment or self-satisfaction, you will be friends with that person. If anything else, then you'll most likely be tired of the person."

GM sakin ng...hindi ko kilala. Pero nandun siya sa list ko. Tabi sila ng ~~YAHOO HELPER~~ isa pang di ko kakilala.

Kaya ayaw ko ng mga GM.

Kahit na...ganito pa...

(10/16/2006 6:30:57 PM): ano b tlga tallest mountain?!
(10/16/2006 6:46:11 PM): uviall or aviall???
(10/16/2006 6:47:08 PM): uviall or aviall???! sagutin nio plsssssss....
(10/16/2006 6:50:27 PM): kung mita nio ung aviall or uviall pa print n lng ako... laki n ng bbyaran ko d2 s shop... sobra... l p kasi net sa bahay eh...
(10/16/2006 7:12:13 PM): wahahahaha... na pa print ko na.... nka 100 ako.l.. ganda ng print ng laser.... wahahahaha.... waaaaaaaaaaaaa.... kulang pa ako ng ooze at uviall at delta... brine lng meron ako.... hahaha.... research pa...
(10/16/2006 7:15:52 PM): mga klasmeyt ko.... san kau kumuha ng ooze... biggest and smallest delta... and uviall or aviall...???!!! tulong naman dyan.... naman dyan.... tutulungan ko din kau...
(10/16/2006 7:43:56 PM): waaaaaaaaaaa.... wala pla ako partner... kaya plaang dami kong gngwa.... hahahaha,..... ayoko kasi mgpartner ung partner ko kanina umayaw n ako sknya...
(10/16/2006 8:02:14 PM): bye po sainyong lahat... sori s mga naistorbo.... salamat din s mga tumulong..... bye.... nataposko rin...

Tawag jan...aksaya sa space ng archives. Tsk tsk. Binasa mo pa ba para malaman kung sino...? wala naman nakalagay ah ^^ naku...baka kumalat to... delikado.

Ayoko talaga ng mga GM.

HAHA!....lalo na pag galing kay faye... kasi apat na window ung bumubukas saken.. mejo di naubos ung memory ng pc pag sinabay mo ung apat sa dami pa naman ng window na nakabukas saken palagi.

+++

Sa loob ng isang linggo, dalawang beses ako nag-cutting, na kung saan ung unang pag-cut eh first time ko sa buong...buhay ko sa Parsci. Iniisip ko nga baka maging habit, pero sabi ni mon, hndi rin daw kasi ngaung week lang na 'to pwede gawin... dahil...wala naman talaga dapat pasok.

Di ko lubos maisip ung itsura ni sir jo nung makita nia kung ilang tao na lang sa room. Siguro marami-rami rin ung natira. "Marami-rami"...

+++

Nilibre ako ni mon sa M, adik...ang tagal namin...pakiramdam ko pa ang banu-ban0 kong tankeRR... lalo na nung nandun si maykel sa likod ko na pinagsisigawan pa sa tenga namin ung dapat namin gawin. Gusto ko sana isuot ung earphones.

Kaso ayoko ng sounds ng Ran...parang mas maigi siguro kung binunot ko un sa unit tapos sinalpak ko sa bibig ni maykel [Jem: very Christian! XD]. Sadya namang weak ung shaman ko dahil support ako ah. helowwwwwww.

+++

Namimis ko na rin sila.

Medyo naurat nga ako kaninang umaga dahel hindi sila pumasok. Hindi ako nauurat dahil sa aming tatlo ako lang ung pumasok. Nauurat lang ako dahil...pumasok ako.

ta3.

+++

Gusto ko ng mga rare items sa ran. Naalala ko tuloy ung sinabi ni DARRYL.

Darryl: Gusto ko ng boyfriend sa Ran.
Ako: *tameme at nag-iisip* Aah... kase babae nga pala character mo dun...hehe
Darryl: M, kase di ba pag meh ganun ka, marami siyang ibibigay na rare items sau...ganun..
Ako: *napaisip ulet...* Oo nga noh...
Darryl: *bulong* chiksilog eh..

XD

Kanina ko lang naisip na ganun pala...

Oo nga...tlga...wahaha..

AHA!!!!! XD...Lem, kaya ka siguro matagal maglaro noh...may gf ka na naglalaro sa pk channel...na binibigyan mo ng rare items..? o baliktad...siya ung "supplier"..? Haha..80+ ka na nga siguro...

maglalaro na si monmon at ruth ng ran, sa wakaaaaaaaaaas.

Wag na ung mga Havoc-fanatics na sina ....ano. basta..un.

+++

Jem, sorry nung isang araw...ung parang dun sa 'linya ko yan ah'..

hehe...mejo nainis lang ako kase..meh naalala lang ako dun.

Tska badtrip tlga ako nun...kaya aun...hi-blood n nman..tumataas na naman BP ko. dyok.. XD

Pero...di nga..matagal na ko nagsasabi ng ganun...pero di ko lang siguro nssbi sau tska di lang siguro kasingdalas ng pagsabi mo..

eh..

wala lang...

^^ sorry tlga.. :D

+++

Wala bang emoticons dito?!? O___o Boring. [napakawalang-kwentang topic.]

+++

Tama na muna siguro 'to. Hingal na ung daliri ko. Haba na daw ng post ko.

Wekoko

2006-11-02T07:00:00.000+09:00

Matagal-tagal rin akong naglaro.

Isa lang linya ng phone nmin...at naka-dial-up ako.

Hula ko lang hindi nagmumura ung mga tao ngaun na tumatawag dito sa bahay.

"hindi nagmumura".

Ung isang player dun...nilapitan ung party namin. Tapos..malamang..sumawsaw, eh party leader siya. siya lang sa party nia ung nandun sa spot ng party namin. Eh di nagparty duel kami. Anu nangyare sa party namin?

AUN, TALO.

Mamaw na pala un. Taas ng lvl...pupurihin ko na sana ng 'lakas nio na po ^^' kaso biglang nagsalita...

"Mga wek pala kau eh!"

XDXDXDXDXD!

Mga "wek" daw kami? ahihi.

Ako lang tumawa dun. Siguro masama lang talaga ako, o ako lang sa party na un ang natatawa sa mga typo?

XD...grabe pahirapan na to. Nakakatamad magpalvl. Mejo laggers pa ako.

Dami ko pang gagawin...tapos...hindi na naman ako pumasok.

Pero kahapon, sa lahat ng nagtanong saken, sabi ko papasok ako.

Baket nga ba ako di pumasok?...Aun..kasi bka absent din ung dahilan ng pagpasok ko.

Magpapasa lang naman ako eh. Yun lang...un lang ang dahilan kung baket papasok pa ako. Eh baka nga wala rin siya. Kaya hindi ko mapapasa sa kanyaaaaaaaaaa.

waaaaaaaa.la lang.

Boring dito.

ta3.

[Manonood kami ng Charlie and the "Cadbury" Factory mmya!] O wag mo ko itama. alam ko ung mali XD

sakit na ng ulo ko...buong araw nasa harap ng computer...hanggang lagpas 12mn, tapos ggcng ng alas-kuwatro..buong araw ulit sa harap hanggang ganung oras ulit.. routine ko na para sa week na to.

Parang gusto ko pumasok...kaso pag pumasok na ako, gusto ko naman magcutting pagkatapos. Baka mahuli kami ni...ano....uh...di pala pede bulgaran dito. Baka kase bigla siya mag-iwan ng tag sa tagboard XD

haha..w0000t.

Alis na nga ako dito. Hmm..:D

"ty po sa party"
"bb na po"

Hapihalowin.

2006-10-31T23:44:00.000+09:00

Aww...i've reached about..."page 79" of death note.

And, yeah...I'm taking back what I said about Raito. Now I'm really convinced... =p

I really got bothered by L's death. It's not like it's surprising but...it happened too soon. Anyway there's still Niya and Mero. Just like Mon said. They're quite remarkable characters.

And yeah...the ones who scanlated it...I hate to admit this but, the editing wasn't really that good. ^^ I think everyone else who dloaded your releases of dn's chapters had seen it as well.

+++

[tagalog.]

Nanood ako ng Wrong Turn. Di ko malaman kung tatawa ako. Tapos...tatlong beses akong napasigaw, dahil sa tatlong scenes na hindi naman dapat sigawan. Pag nakakatakot na ung nangyayare, hindi naman ako sumisigaw. Labo.

Grabe...ang saya..kaso nakakaurat ung isang babae dun sa movie, nung 3 na lang silang buhay. Mula umpisa ko pa talaga iniisip na dapat siya na lang ung unang mamatay. Siguro, kung siya nga ung nauna, 5 pa sana silang buhay hanggang matapos ung movie. Masyado kase siya maingay. Natuwa pa nga ako nung sa bunganga niya tumama ung palakol. XD

Ang sama ko no....

alam ko iniisip mo.

Nyaha.

+++

Ayun...naglaro ako ng Ran. Wala namang kwenta. Umangat...ung exp ko. 0_o Bumalik na naman ako sa pagkaskas ng barya para makakonek. Kahit may unli kami, oo unli 'dpat' ang connection.Pero dahil sa unli na yan kaya mabilis ako maglevel-up.

"Mabilis".

Alam nio ba kung baket nevada-tan un..?

Ha?

Hinde?

Buti pa nga.

+++

Adik n naman ako kay hyde. Confirmed na. Gusto ko na siya ulet. XD Di ko mapigilan.

+++

Dyok lang na kalat na ung blog ko. Kanina ko lang 'naisip' at 'naalala' kung sino tlga ung nagsabe.... haha. Ang SLOW ko. XD

first...time =p

2006-10-31T08:09:00.000+09:00

Oct. 30.

My good record...first time to cut classes. Hehe.

I wasn't planning on going to school anyway...

Then a friend asked me to play online games with her...I said 'yes', but dismissal is at 5pm. -WE- decided to leave school at lunch break.

Wheeeeeeee. PLayed at the shop for 2 and a half hours..paid for it. T_T.

XD I was so happy then...

Haha..Then we went to a friend's house, arrived there to see more of my classmates watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I joined them and watched till it's over..

^^ and I got a few Diru PVs burned on CD for me...

Oct. 31.

There are classes today. I think.

I didn't go to school.

=p

Such a brat. Hehe.

Because...we're going to be scolded for cutting classes today. I also think.

I'm starting to get tired of playing Ran or Radiata...and now I'm more into manga reading. Hoeeee~~

--i said i'd be speaking in my language...but i'm not in the mood.--

I wonder what they're doing in school right now? XD

Ms. Whitney?

2006-10-30T00:34:00.000+09:00

Worship worship worship.

Whew.

Hay.

Wish my friend would be really convicted too. ^^

Anyway.

May joke ako! Narinig ko sa adik na istasyon ng radyo nung nakasakay kami sa sitaks.

Babae: Hay...Brono, alam mo ba kung ano ang pambansang hayop? Nagsisimula ito sa K!
Bruno: Ay sus eh kadali naman niyan. Kabayo!
Babae: Jus ko naman to si Brono o, kabobo. Yung huling letra nun ay W!
Bruno: Aah..Kabayow?!
Babae: Hindeeeehhh...si Brono naman eh. May sungay un!
Bruno: Sus ginoo, demonyong kabayow?!?

Haha. Korni. Pero tumawa ako sa sitaks nung narinig ko un. Tumawa kami lahat.

Hay.Kulet kasi nung nagsasalita eh.

Ayan. Tapos na ang napakahaaaabaaaang dinadownload ko. Iba talaga ang dial-up. Kupas ka na, di pa tapos.

Ung bakla kanina sa Video City [nagrent nga pala ako ng Wrong Turn...XD adik.], kumakanta sa videoke. I will always love you ni Whitney Houston, naks! Babaeng babae ung boses.....patok.

Patok...na patok.

Ang galing @_@... kamangha-mangha...dahil hindi ko alam na boklash pala ung kumakanta nung nasa loob pa ako ng Video City at boses lang ang naririnig ko... kala ko talaga babae. Ang taas ng boses...

Tama na. Magugunaw na ang Sodom at Gomorra[rhyming.]...at ginagaya ko lang tatay ko. Un ung lagi niang comment pag nakakarinig ng 'bading' at 'tibo'.

Waah.

Gabi na. Maya-maya lang..papasok na ako. Kelangan matulog.

Bb.

cleric. T~T

2006-10-28T15:35:00.000+09:00

Starting at this point, I'm going to type in my language.

Para wlang plastikan.

haha.

Naglaro kami ni Paul sa M station!

Ang laki nung itinaas ng level ko. Sobra. Biruin mo, bago kami naglaro, level 42. Pagkalog-out ko, level 42! O di ba, ang saya...ang layo ng narating ko.

+++

Medyo malayo na rin pala ung narating ko sa death note kooooo.

Downhill. Boo. Nainis ako kay Raito. Di ko alam kung baket. Magaling naman siya. Mm.. baka siguro malamang maaaring hindi lang ako nakakapagbasa pa ng mga susunod na mangyayari. [lalim?]

+++

Gusto ko mag-ice skating.

+++

Waah. Ta3 tlga tong kapatid ko. [Parang kanina lang iba ung mood ko ah]

Maglalaro muna siya. X.x

Kaurat. Ano oras pa ko makakapaglaro ng Ran nito? Lapit na ko magcleric...[haha weak pa ren...XD] Wish ko lang sana makapaglaro ako pag 2x.

+++

Tapos. Eto pa. Survey galing friendster. Survey na hindi ko alam kung bakit survey ang tawag sa mga katulad nito dahil wala rin namang nagtatally. Sagot lang naman 'tayo' nang sagot...may naaapektuhan ba? Puro pansarili lang naman 'to. Pampalipas oras.

1.Inaaway mo ba yung guard sa gate niyo pag di
ka pinapapasok?
~ si Mang duds? Hinde. XD repapips un ng parsci noh.

2. Lagi ka bang nalelate?
~ haha. Oo naman. Bilis ko kase kumilos eh.

3. Complete uniform ka ba lagi?
~ pano magiging complete uniform kung nakacivilian ung mga batas sa skul. haha. Dyok. pag kelangan ng uniform, oo kumpleto..=

4. Sumusunod ka ba lagi sa mga school rules??
~ Batas kami. Haha.

5. Kumakanta ka ba ng Pambansang Awit at
School Hymn?
~ Delikado naman yang tanong mo.

6. Active ka ba sa klase?
~ Hehe. =p

7. Mababa ba ang IQ mo o mataas?
~ wah. XS.

8. Nakikipagdaldalan ka ba habang
naglelesson ang teacher?
~ Oo.

9. Hinaharass mo ba ang mga teacher niyo?
~ ? sino? woi....heh.

10. Napapunta ka na ba sa prefect of
discipline's office dahil sa kabalbalan?
~ may ganun ba kami? dyok. di rin. XD

11. Napahiya ka na ba sa klase?
~ lahat naman eh.

12. Napahiya ka na ba ng teacher sa klase?
~ lahat naman eh~~ kulet.

13. Gumagawa ka ba ng assignments o copy lang?
~ "copy" and answer. XD

14. Kumakain ka ba tuwing break?
~ depende sa tiyan ko.

15. Ano ang first line ng School Hymn ninyo?
~ tentententen, tenten ten tenen!!! XD

16. Naging medalist ka na ba?
~ wah...asa.

17. Nangotong ka na ba sa kaklase mo?..
~ hinde. pero malapit na. dyok.

18. Natutulog ka ba sa klase?
~ OO. haha.

19. Pumapasok ka ba sa ibang room kahit na may
klase sila?
~ oo. XD

20. Gusto mo ba ang mga patakaran ninyo
sanyong eskwelahan??
~ meron?

21. Nagtetext ka ba habang nagkaklase kayo?
~ waw. wala nga ako cellphone ngaun eh.

22. Nagdadala ka ba ng mga pagkain sa room
niyo?
~ uu.

23. Ano ang pinakamahirap na subject para sa
iyo?
~ kalkyuloos. aldyeebra. lahat ng math-oriented.

24. Natawag mo na bang "sir" ang ma'am nyo, at
"ma'am" ang sir niyo?
~ malamang.

25. Ano ang pangalan ng eskuwelahan mo nung
HS?
~ PSHS ~~(PNHS-Annex)~~

26. Naaksidente ka na ba sa school? anong
klaseng aksidente?
~ hindi pa. ~~pero may kilala akong naaksidente. XD~~

27. Ano ang laging kinakain mong pagkain sa
canteen?
~ may canteen pala kami?

28. in general, love mo highschool?
~ yep

---...^^?

no title. heh.

2006-10-26T17:09:00.000+09:00

...

Went to a computer shop.

Yesterday, the way it had been in there sucked more than anything.

I went there to play Ran, not to surf through the web. Coincidentally the servers were down and left me annoyed at why I had to pay for the time I used up when I didn't actually get to do what I want.

But anyways when I got home I continued reading my death note chapters...

so far so good...I don't see anything terrible about it. Really well-plotted.

And I'm starting to fall in love with L...he's just the kewlest character there. XD..

Or have I not read the rest of it yet..? Haha..I liked how he solves this Kira stuff..

Really...hehe..My mind is spinning, this manga makes me think about a lot of things.. A LOT of serious things.

And reminds me of someone I knew before.

...

..

.

haha.

^^

Almost time to play Radiata...

I can't see why I liked how cutesy the characters were, especially the lovingly adorable Jack Russell. It looked like a mature 3D version of the Sprite graphics system. X__x but anyways...still cute.

The plot seems to really bug me though...it's so weak. Mewt.

While waiting for meh sib to finish playing, I think I'll stay here for a while.

In decay riddler

2006-10-24T08:23:00.000+09:00

HER STORY

it's a story of her wretched life...
i was been told her story every single day she died...
and this particular day she's been alive for no breath longer than 15 hours, 58 minutes and 25 second...

this time she was born in march and it was monday... exactly when the sun reached zenith...

1) she woke up

2) she stayed in bed for 2 hours... she was unable to move and see a thing...

3) she was so fearful she started to scream... and her unnatural squeak echoed the walls... until the clock beat seven times...

4) so she recovered and was finally able to stand up... 4 hours took her to find a way through the maze of endless rooms, corridors and shadowed enclaves... her head hurt and her legs weakened... then a door has been found... and she has entered...

5) she went outside and she saw a hill.. so she was running up that hill for an hour...

6) when she has finally reached the top, the moon shined in the same place the sun was and life has been given to her... she stoped for three hours, so she could remembered the reason she is here...

and then something strange happened.

7) thirty minutes later, not a minute less or more, she had this strange, but familiar feeling, everything gone faster, so did her heart... she started to run towards horizon...

8) after 20 minutes she reached the cliff... the edge...

9) the next five minutes she was crying... staring at the sea below...

and then something strange heppened.

10) 150 seconds later, not a second less or more, she had this strange, but familiar feeling, everything gone faster, so did her heart... and after fifteen longest second ever, she realised he is gone forever...

11) she loved him

12) she loved him

13) she loved him

14) she died again.

+++

I didn't change anything there. You are reading it as it has been written.

boohoo. Hehe...Once I got into it, I can't stop solving.

LoL..check out this site..

http://zestriddle.fanzine.pl/

it's -somehow- worth the time.

No worries. It's just the scary feel of the site, but it's not shocking or anything.

+__+ I've reached the 5th part...and got lost.

anyway...I'm planning to read Death Note or Bleach today... I think they're the only ones I have here that I haven't read yet...

Just finished on my dose of Psychometrer Eiji. You guys should read it, it's worth the download. I'll prolly have chapter or volume reviews posted up here on my blog... since I don't have much to do...hehe..but I'll do it when I get the drive. ^^

++

*sigh* I'm starting to hate this shoujo life. Things are starting to go down the shoujo path...s-h-o-u-j-o. Anyway I've never gone down the shounen road [Are you guys even getting my point?]...What I mean is..all this stuff happening to me.. they're just too sentimental to handle. And I normally don't like to fall for emotional depression. And the shounen road thing...uh...take it literally. I mean I don't get into real fights and stuff.

Pfft. That guy makes things hard for me. Knowing AND understanding the girl makes things even harder. Knowing something from both sides...frankly, I feel like I'm being blamed for it. And after all that, I still don't have the right to get mad at them. I don't see why I shouldn't, but I don't get why I won't.

Whatever.

++

I'll start reading the manga now. I'd prefer this than playing Ran OL. It's so effin' annoying that there are so many players right now. It makes my connection lag, and I can't really play smoothly. Ugh.

Annoying me...really.

++

By the way. Belated happy death anniversary to my most beloved friend, Nelson. ^^ Heh..I miss you, buddy.

This day last year, I received the most unbearable news I've ever heard in my entire life. But hey. It's the past. I'd better quit yapping at it before I slip it all out.

^^

i can see that.

2006-09-04T21:10:00.000+09:00

I don't know where to start.

I wrote this not for the sake of argument. I don't see the point of retorting. But I am not being abusively defensive, because I am admittable to my mistake(s).

There's so much to say.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE ME ANYTHING.

You think I'm enjoying it, but I'm not, because I'm affecting someone in the process--and that is YOU, and you're not cold enough to ignore this.

The IMAGE that I was talking about was your coldness and flat-out indifference regarding the situation. Because you're not a demonstratively sentimental person, dammit, you think too deep.

You think that I think I'm smarter. But you haven't even heard me prasing myself such that my feet separates from the ground.

You didn't know that I always thought you were better. You didn't know that I always thought you are a great person. In whatever I do, I always expect you to come out the best and I was glad when people praised you, because I admired the fact that I have a 'great' friend.

Because I never told you anything. You didn't even know how disappointed I was when I found out we weren't in the same class last year.

You were right, you are who you were from the start. The YOU I liked. Maybe I was taking it away, but it never occurred to me that it was what I was doing until you said so.

Now I know my mistake(s).

But your problem is that this time the only things you see in me were those that you think I got from you. You only saw ~~our similarities~~ who you think you are in me.

Did you look at the differences? Or did you only see a false reflection of yourself? I know you're thinking it was the latter. But the way I see it, there were (a lot) of differences between you and me.

And maybe you DID change.

I had been trying to change what I have become, but it's taking me a long time to do so, because I don't know which ones to take out.

You only saw the wrong things in me. I thought you, of all people, would not question my faults. I did not literally mean 'question' [by the way].

Perhaps I don't act like myself in front of YOU. But I can say I AM myself when you're not around.

Anyway, you didn't know who I was before you met me, either. You're just like those prejudiced people who knew me in first year. It's stupid to think it was "the beginning" of who I am.

I expected a warning, a signal, anything. But nothing came. You just stopped talking to me. Period.

I want to say sorry, I don't know what to really feel guilty for, but I know I did something wrong so I'm saying 'sorry'[it's sincere enough, no worries]...

But you don't have to forgive.

I'm not that stupid to not see through your anger.

So now I'm going to put a big effort in changing myself..and I will keep on doing it until you are satisfied with who I am.

Nevertheless...

Hate me.

I just said my thoughts anyway.

It's about time I stop caring.